History


	The History of the beer god -In his own words

	An exclusive interview, with a forward by Alfred Patterson Pendleton III, Professor of Folklore and Mythology, Grant College. Foreword The "beer god"-- in some texts incorrectly referred to as "The god of beer"- is a pagan idol that has fascinated those of us in mythology studies for decades. There has been an active debate in academic circles as to its exact origin and age, but few incontrovertible conclusions. Most of what we know has been inferred from Sumerian hieroglyphs from 4000-3500 BC. So as you can imagine, the excitement in the Folk & Myth Department has been nearly palpable since we learned of the astonishing re-appearance of the "beer god" in Rochester, NY. When we received the call from the HighFalls Brewery, we were understandably skeptical. But carbon dating and a battery of exhaustive tests confirmed its authenticity.

For three weeks I worked with a team of post-doctorate fellows to prepare for the precious half-hour interview we had been granted.

I remain humbled by the magnitude of this opportunity, and I hope that academia and future generations judge that I have done it justice.

-A. P. Pendleton III, August 3, 1998.

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The Interview transcript

A roughly hewn granite and malachite statue about 68 centimeters tall, the "beer god's" stern, unblinking countenance belies a Bacchanalian lust for life - and beer in particular – for which I was not totally prepared.

AP: Good morning...

Beer god: SILENCE

AP: Would you prefer I conduct the interview in Sumerian?

Beer god: SILENCE

AP: What is the proper way to address you?

Beer god: I am the beer god.

AP: Very good. There are two schools of thought in regards to your origin

Beer god: I am the beer god.

AP: Ah...yes. There are two schools of thought in regards to...beer god's origins; many scholars believe your- I mean beer god's creation coincided with the first distillation of hops in early Mesopotamia. While others insist the timeline is more convoluted and involves--

Beer god: Why you not drink Honey Brown Lager?

AP: Uh... I'm not really thirsty. If we could return to--

Beer god: You drink Honey Brown Lager.

AP: No. I haven't but I hear it's very--

Beer god: That not question: You drink Honey Brown Lager! Now!

AP: OK, OK...hold on...(ASIDE: Could someone get me a Honey Brown Lager?)

AP: While we're waiting, according to mythological genealogy your father was the Alfalfa God, but paleological clues suggest--

Beer god: Honey Brown Lager is here. You drink.

AP: Very well...SIP...Yes, that's very tasty Anyway, it is commonly--

Beer god: You drink all.

AP: I'm not much of a drinker...

Beer god: You drink all!

AP: Of course...GULP GULP GULP...aah...

Beer god: You want more.

AP: Thank you, no...

Beer god: SILENCE

AP: Well, I suppose one more wouldn't hurt.

Beer god: Beer god is pleased. Your she-cow will bear many calves.

AP: That's good news. GULP GULP GULP. But perhaps beer god could clarify the similarities to Easter Island sta...

Beer god: You know what taste good with Honey Brown Lager?

AP: No, I don't.

Beer god: More Honey Brown Lager!

AP: That's very funny. Moving on, I--

Beer god: That not joke. More Honey Brown Lager!

AP: Sure, let's have another round. GULP GULP GULP. OK, now where were we?

Beer god: You drink Honey Brown Lager.

AP: I certainly did. Didn't I?

Beer god: SILENCE

AP: You want me to drink another one don't you?

Beer god: You have great wisdom. Your mules will be strong of haunch and hoof.

AP: Strong mules? Hell, I'll drink to that...GULP GULP GULP. So you think the interview's going well? - BUUURP I'm having fun... You know that secretary out front? She's hot. You know if she's seein' anybody? 'Cause if she's not--

Beer god: Beer god bored. Now you go.

AP: Uh... OK. You´re just the best, and I--

Beer god: The beer god has spoken.