News Archive - January 2004

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1-28-2004

Net Enigma. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Snowed like a motherfucker in upstate NY last night.  Bunch of snow on the ground and I'm sure a lot of cars off the road.  It's almost February though, so it's almost over.

Not a mountain.

Not Mount Doom but Mydoom.  That's the latest virus clogging up the Internet and my inbox.  AntiVirus was going ape shit deleting infected emails Monday and Tuesday nights.  Like Ernie said, update your fucking virus programs!

Dear Academy

Please commence the licking of my balls.  That is what you deserve for ignoring my proclamation back in December  where I told you that anything less than Sean Astin winning an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor would be unacceptable.  The fact that you failed to even NOMINATE him in that category is utter crap.

Who did you nominate?  Who the fuck cares!  The only deserving actor, for that award, in 2003 was left off the list.  Shame on you.

I do see that Lord of the Rings: Return of the King WAS nominated for 11 awards though:

Although that is an outstanding list, I feel that there should have been a cinematography nomination in there.  Granted, those are some top-end nominations but the way this film was shot was epic. 

Now, the Golden Globes were just passed out, and although they are the weak sister to Oscar, LOTR came out with awards for Dramatic Picture, Director, original score and original song.  The Globes are a good indication of how things will go at the Academy but that doesn't mean that Jackson's little film is a lock.  We have to wait about a month now to find out how it'll all go down.

But right now, the Academy can go down for leaving Astin off the list of nominations yesterday.

Long time...

I'd say it was time for some good ole fashioned random porn.

1-24-2004

Net Enigma. Sad day.

Captain Kangaroo passed away on Friday.  That really sucks.  I remember watching his show when I was a kid.  Lost Mr. Rogers last year and now Captain Kangaroo.

In the "I give a shit" category

Ben.Lo is now No.Mo.  All I'm hoping for at this point is for Jersey Girl to not suck hard.

1-23-2004

Net Enigma. One video driver download away from an update.

No updates in a couple days, not because I was lazy, but because I couldn't get FrontPage to work for me.  I was typing in an update the other night and had probably 5 words entered before the cursor caught up with me on screen.

Come to find out, the generic nVidia drivers I had installed with Windows XP weren't getting the job done.  Download of the new ForceWare drivers fixed it right up though.  Expect more frequent updates.

1-19-2004

Net Enigma. I got four or five girlfriends. I got a wife on the side!

Ben.Lo

According to Affleck, the next Kevin Smith movie, Jersey Girl isn't going to be marketed as a Ben.Lo flick.  Better not be.  I'd hate to think how bad the movie would tank aver the dismal outing the two had last year with Gigli

MikeRoweSoft

Canadian kid named Mike Rowe started up a web site and named it www.mikerowesoft.com.  Microsoft didn't think it was funny.  I guess Microsoft just doesn't get Canadian humor  either.

Forums

The forums are in full swing now.  There are about 10 registered users and several active threads.  We need more participation, though.  So, if you haven't done so already, hit the forums link and sign up. 

1-15-2004

Net Enigma. Why didn't I think of that when I was unconscious and bleeding from the head?!

They asked for it.  They pleaded for it.  And finally, they got it.  The reason I haven't had an update in a few days is because I've been working on finding and setting up a new forum.  Now, it's finally done, so hit the link over on the menu or click here to join Net Enigma.com's booty shaking, beer drinking forum of fun!

I'm moving

Today, it's warmer on Mars than in upstate NY. Packing my bags and getting on the next shuttle there.

1-8-2004

Net Enigma. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

Woman buys winning lottery ticket and "loses" it outside the store.  Right...

Days later a woman with the winning ticket, a receipt for that ticket plus another that she bought on the day of the lottery drawing shows up.  She also produces ANOTHER lottery ticket bearing the exact same numbers from a few days before.  The winning ticket shows no signs of having lain outside at any time.  She wins the prize.

But wait!  In the US where you can sue your neighbor for stress, pain and suffering because he sneezed on you at the local block party last summer, the broad, Elecia Battle, that claims she lost the ticket is now suing to have a hold placed on money due the winner. 

Welcome to America.

It is January, right?

I'm sitting at the computer last night checking email when I catch something move out of the corner of my eye.  I catch up with it as it flies past my monitor.  I finally get a good look at it and I'm like, "..the Hell?"

It's a fucking mosquito!  In January!  In upstate NY!  Which, right now, is Canada cold!  Where the hell did the little West Nile-carrying bastard come from, I ask you?   

I don't know, but I bitch slapped his ass into oblivion.  Now, just to beat the flu and SARS and I'm home free for the winter!

In the "Who Cares" department

Even Russia has nerds.  Seems that one of them may have solved some 100 year old math problem.  I guess the world may find out, any day now, just where the train leaving Chicago (traveling at 100mph) met up with the train leaving Boston (traveling at 75mph).

Hmmm.  Net Enigma wonders if the guy that can figure out "modulo diffeomorphism" can also unlock another true mystery of the world;  Women.

1-6-2004

Net Enigma. Don't tell me my business Devil Woman!

Drum roll, please.....And the big announcement for today?  Today I officially announce:

The 128 Hottest Chicks We Didn't Think Of....the first time.

Starting at the end of March 2004 we'll be holding the sequel to 2003's popular "The 128 Hottest Chicks We Could Think Of...at the time" game.  We'll pit a bunch of hot chicks against each other in a single elimination bracket where YOU the reader will get to vote.

If you played along with us last time I hope you come back again...and if you didn't play along, then WTF is wrong with you?  I mean, HOT BROADS!

So, finish up your football pools, pick your NCAA basketball brackets for March but then stop back here for Round 1 of "The 128 Hottest Chicks We Didn't Think Of...the first time."  And tell your friends!

Publicity Stunt

Speaking of hot chicks, Britney Spears pulled an interesting publicity stunt this past weekend.  Marriage?  Bogus or not, how would you like to be the guy heading back to college in a couple weeks, hitting up a party and, when someone asks "what did you do over winter break?" saying "I married Britney Spears!"

I hope he at least got a little nookie out of the deal cause otherwise, the guy would deserve a good ass kicking!

1-5-2004

Net Enigma. Does the FBI have any suspects?

It's the new year...and how did I start it out?  How about with reinstalling my entire computer to get rid of a new virus?  Blah.  

Anyway, HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!

I was going to do some sort of rundown of the year 2003 but when my PC fucked up I bagged it.  BUT, stop back tomorrow (Tuesday) for a very important announcement.