News Archive - April 2004
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4-30-2004
Net Enigma. Guaranteed to enlarge your penis with 1 easy viewing.
Okay, round 3 of the "128 Hottest" is about ready to go. And I think you'll enjoy it as you'll get to see some new, hotter pictures of the girls that have made it this far. And after round 3, we'll get to see who makes it to the Sexy Sixteen! Check back later today for more info.
I've been busy
Which is why you haven't seen any updates in a couple days. Where to start? I guess with the usual stuff, just work and being tired as hell. But, Wednesday was an exception. Finley IM's me asking what I'm doing that night. Since I wasn't doing anything, and he pretty much knew it, he had a plan already in motion.
That plan was to go see A Perfect Circle in Wilkes Barre, PA. Nice. So, of course I had to go. I ran out of work at 4, changed and cruised down to the Wachovia Center in WB and at 8 the show kicked off with a Philly band called Burning Brides. They were pretty good even though they didn't get a lot of love from the crowd.
But the main show with APC was absolutely incredible. And even though we never really saw Maynard for the whole show, he still made his presence felt. They blasted through their new album, "Thirteenth Step" and picked up a few older tunes like "The Hollow," "Magdalena," "Rose," "Orestes" and "3 Libras."
They closed up shop with a great version of "Judith" but then it was time to head home. Two freakin' hours in the car later I fell into bed about 2:15 Thursday morning. I was whooped but damn, what a show. If you have a chance to go see them live, do it!
Finally saw it.
Finally got around to seeing Kill Bill Volume 2 last Saturday night. Hit it up with Todd, Greg and Jim. Very cool movie.
Expanding on Volume 1 we get to see The Bride exact more revenge but we also get more backstory about what makes her tick. And we actually got to see Bill this time around. Slightly laid back compared to V1, V2 still has its share of blood and violence for you junkies out there.
The fun, and the brilliance, of V2 is in the details; things such as the movies score, for example, becomes the glue that Tarentino uses to cement the threads of the movie together. The 1950's black & white feel of the Kung Foo chapters mixed with the modern blood and guts, tossed in with dialogue driven scenes somehow makes sense even when you wouldn't think that it could.
But the best part of the entire movie, and V1, is that there is an interesting story. The story of The Bride, told in flashback and real time, is a revenge movie at it's heart and it doesn't make any apologies for it. I like a film that has the balls to take a stand and not try to play to a half-dozen snooty film critics. Nothing about the film screams "commercial" and for that I have to thank Tarentino.
Uma Thurman shines in this 2-part film, the directing and cinematography rock and the story is pretty solid. There are so many tip-of-the-hat references to Japanese films as well as Tarentino's other movies that I doubt you'll ever be able to catch them all. That makes this film fun. I'll give Volume 2, and the entire duology 3 out of 4 wheels of cheddar.
4-26-2004
Net Enigma. Survey says...
The votes are tallied and round 2 of "The 128 Hottest" is now on the books. We had a great turnout for voting in round 2 but let's beef it up again for round 3! I'll hit Ralph with the task of getting round 3 together so look for it late in the day on Monday or sometime during the day on Tuesday. And now, on with the results!
Of course you can always hit the Bracket Results link up top to look back but, for a little commentary on who won in round 2, read on my friends.
The first match-up was Cynthia Watros, coming off a surprise round 1 win, against the spicy Italian, Marisa Tomei. Cynthia never stood a chance as Marisa easily took round two with a 13 vote margin.
Marisa advances to take on Sarah Thompson who also had a big win 21-12 over Dina Meyer. Not too shabby if you ask me, especially seeing as I didn't have the best pictures for Sarah. Must be her hotness has shown through.
The next showdown was Karen Cliché against Tia Texada. There was no love for the Latina as Karen whooped up on her 27-6 to move on down the bracket.
Tea Leoni and Nikki Bokal hooked up in round 2 and Tea also had an easy 9 vote win. It's Tea and Karen next round.
Britney Spears looks to be the broad to beat as she continued her assault in the game beating up Maria Bello 27-6. Maria was only able to do 1 vote better than Estella Warren managed in round one against the pop star.
Kelly Carlson makes her second strong showing against Linda Cardellini winning with 9 votes. Does she stand a chance against Spears next time? I guess we'll see.
In a surprise win, a significant win at that, Ashley Judd doubled up votes on an aging Demi Moore beating her 22 -11. Turning in impressive numbers in both rounds, Ashley has the juice to face down her next challenger.
Courtney Peldon will be that challenger for Ashley. Easily defeating Elizabeth Mitchell, Courtney may be a dark horse in this game. We'll see if she can continue to gain steam.
Our next match was much closer than I thought it would be; Hollie Marie Combs against Carmen Elektra. I figured it would be a blow-out for Carmen but it was a tight race with only a 3 vote win over Combs. Her star may be fading though.
A star that's burning brighter, however, is Tara Reid. Winning a close one over Sarah Michelle Gellar in round one, Tara turned up the heat on Lauren Holly and easily walked past her 25-8. Keep your eye on this chick.
Another person to keep an eye on is Gina Gershon. Easily handling Alexondra Lee 29-4 Gina's vote total in this round was only matched by one other girl. We'll get to her in a few.
Another close one was Lucy Liu against Nikki Zeiring. Losing by 5 votes, Lucy goes home early...but she'll still have better big screen bank than Nikki will ever hope to achieve...Check out Nikki next round but give some love to Lucy in Kill Bill Volume 2, in theaters now.
Carly Pope. What can I say about this beautiful brunette? She's a winner, maybe? Yep, she's a winner going large over Leelee Sobieski 22-11. A surprise in her first two rounds we'll have to see if she can maintain the momentum as she faces up with Tiffany Amber Thiessen.
Thiessen advances after trouncing Hudson Leick 24-9 in round 2.
The push-up bra defeats "Dawson's Creek" in the match between Tyra Banks and Monica Keena. Taking an easy round 2 22-11 Tyra advances but her days may be numbered.
Tyra may be close to going home because the next round brings her face-to-face with the blonde powerhouse from the land down under, Nicole Kidman. Kidman went up by 9 votes to put an end to Kristin Davis' run.
Another surprise win is Ali Larter over Brittney Daniel. The difference, 13 votes. I didn't pick it, but that match could have legitimately gone either way.
She may be Superman's girlfriend but that doesn't make Kristin Kreuk hot enough to do in Sofia Vergara. Supermodel vs Supergirlfriend...no contest in the 19-14 win.
Vida Guerra pulled out a 1 vote win to send Patricia Velazquez home after round 2.
Courtney Cox ran up a 13 point win in her showdown with Sheryl Crow. A surprising margin but not necessarily a surprise win.
Now, after China Chow's huge 17 point win in round 1 I figured she'd easily defeat Shakira. I'd have been wrong. Shakira pulled out a 3 point victory to move on.
Shakira will come up against Amanda Detmer in the next round as she advances in a squeaker over Amy Smart, 17-16.
Playing neurotic characters on TV can't compete with great European genes in the match between Keri Russell and Elin Nordegren. Doubling up Keri, Elin advances.
Susan Ward, our other huge winner in round 2, stomped a mud hole in Samaire Armstrong winning by 25 votes. She's picking up steam but can she beat Elin next round? I can't wait to find out.
In the showdown between Playboy Playmates Crista Nicole was no match for Dalene Kurtis. Winning by 5 votes and coming off a gigantic 29 point win in round 1, Dalene is poised to go far as our lone All Star entry in the game.
She will, however, need to get past a surging Sophia Bush. Coming off wins of 26-7 and 21-12 over Jessica Steen and Keegan Connor Tracy respectively, Sophia could make it tough for Dalene next round.
Another surprise in round 2 is the fact that Sophie Marceau ran past Yamila in a 21-12 win. I never would have guessed.
Sophie will match up against Alyssa Milano in round 3 as Milano made it past Rachel Weisz in a 5 point victory.
Showing some love for the Brits in round 2, Jordan doubled the votes put up by Kelly Brook to win 22-11.
Cerina Vincent had a 5 point win over the Canadian singer Avril Lavigne in round 2. Personally I'd have liked to see Avril win just for the fact that, as my buddy TJ put it, "there's just something about Avril that SCREAMS 'Angry Fuck.'" Yes, TJ, there is, but that didn't get the job done this time around.
The final two slots for round 3 will be filled by Heidi Klum and Amber Arbucci. Heidi pulled out a 1 vote win over Eva Mendes to advance while Amber easily took out Sienna Guillory 26-7. Heidi is fading as Amber is picking up steam. Should be an interesting vote to watch next round.
And there you have it, a quick recap of round 2. There were a couple true surprises but overall I think round 2 was pretty uneventful. Round 3 on the other hand just gets more interesting. It's going to get harder from hear but I'd have to say from the way the first two rounds shook out there are a couple obvious favorites. But, I'm not going to make any guesses until the Sexy 16 round is set. Before we get there though, we have another round.
Check back later today or on Tuesday and the game will either be back up or
I'll at least have an announcement for you.
4-24-2004
Net Enigma. I'd rather be standing in a bread line next to Michael Bolton than be a telemarketer.
Allright boys and girls, as I type this out you have a little less than 24 hours to get your votes in for round 2 of "The 128 Hottest" game. The cutoff is midnight EST tonight. So vote for your chicks because only YOU can help make sure these good looking girls make it to the next round.
Sad news
Every day we have sad news from Afghanistan or Iraq about more soldiers dying. And this is not meant to belittle the pain that any of those deaths causes, but I want to mention that yesterday word came in that Pat Tillman, with the 75th Rangers, was killed in action in Afghanistan.
What makes me mention his death is that after 9/11 Pat gave up his career playing football for the Arizona Cardinals to join the Army with his brother. He was so effected by the 9/11 tragedy that he felt the need to serve his country. And this week he paid the ultimate price for that dedication and patriotism.
He could have stayed in the NFL and collected his multi-million dollar salary but he didn't. And the world is a better place because of the sacrifice he made. Along with 600+ men and women in Iraq and the others in Afghanistan, Pat Tillman served his country bravely and for that I thank him and his family.
Pictures
Going along with that story is the recent issue of photos of dead American soldiers being flown back to the US. Pictures of flag-draped coffins were released on the Internet and published in some papers.
The official US policy is that pictures like these aren't supposed to be published. Some people argue that the government doesn't want the pictures shown because the current administration doesn't want the public to turn against the war. Other opinions, and that of the government, is that the pictures shouldn't be shown out of respect to the families.
Personally, I don't need to see the pictures for a couple reasons. As with the policy, I don't think that families need the added trauma of seeing coffins being unloaded from airplanes. Along with that, I don't need to see those pictures for the impact of the casualties in this war to hit home. I watch the news, read the paper, I know that people are dying overseas right now.
I also know that the military has a tradition of honoring the dead and wounded. I don't doubt for a minute that they are showing proper respect in transporting these soldiers back home.
4-21-2004
Net Enigma. Pacing myself.
So, I downloaded the most disgusting porn clip over the weekend. I didn't know exactly what it was all about till after I saw it and it was bad. Now, before you go asking to see it, let me just say that, as with the definition for ASIB, you guys aren't really ready for it.
The one question I'm left pondering though, is where do they find the girls to be in these videos? Because I have to say that I wonder if girls like this are born or if something goes terribly wrong with them somewhere between playing with Barbie and playing with themselves.
"You're wearing a bikini during your period?"
That's how a commercial starts out at 6:30 p.m. on a Tuesday night and its for, of course, feminine hygiene products.
I think that if that can be on TV then nobody should be able to talks shit about Janet's tit or Howard Stern or any of the hot-button issues of indecency right now. Because, I have to tell you, nothing can ruin your dinner of Chef Boyardee spaghetti & meatballs faster than a broad talking about bleeding once a month.
Rock the Vote
Votes are still rolling in on round 2 of "The 128 Hottest" contest. Keep them coming. You have till Saturday night at midnight to get them in!
4-20-2004
Net Enigma. Distracted by shiny, pretty things.
VOTE! The game is live and it's going to run till sometime this weekend as we had so much trouble getting this round up.
So, I owe you guys a couple movie reviews because, well, I went to the movies last weekend. So, here they are.
The Alamo
Although I'm sure that this isn't Discovery channel accurate, the movie is a dramatic look at the last stand at the Alamo and the fight that led up to the victory that gave Texas to the budding United States.
Billy Bob Thornton turned in a fine performance as Davy Crockett and the movie also starred Dennis Quaid as Sam Houston, Jason Patric as Jim Bowie and Emilio Echevarría as Santa Ana.
In order to paint the whole picture of how the stand at the Alamo fit into the eventual victory of the Texians, there was a lot of rather boring dialog for true action junkies. However, taking that as a necessary part of the story, the payoff comes in the last 45 minutes of the film as the final battle of the Alamo takes place before Santa Ana goes on to confront Sam Houston.
Patric, as Bowie, has some moments but not enough for me to really care about him. Quaid's Sam Houston was also another weak spot in the film. I like Dennis Quaid in small doses and that's about all this movie offers, but still...
Emilio Echevarría turns in a great role as the Napoleanesque military man who thinks he's unbeatable. But the star of the movie is Thornton as he takes a great turn as Crockett, playing him with a good mix of serious statesman and goofy red neck. The scene that stands out is late in the film when he stands atop the wall and plays his fiddle to the Mexican army's drum and bugle.
The movie runs close on 3 hours and maybe would be a little better if shortened. Also, as a Disney release, you don't get the blood and guts of, say, The Patriot, but watching a guy get shot in the head with a musket is still a guy getting shot in the head with a musket.
I recommend going to see this film in the theater if for no other reason that it's a historical account of the United States....and it's a good film. I give it 2.5 wheels of cheddar out of 4.
The Punisher
And the Marvel movie properties keep rolling in. Based on the Marvel comic by the same name, this film follows Tom Jane's Frank Castle as he's transformed from an FBI agent into an avenging vigilante.
In his last job in the US as an FBI agent, Frank sets up a weapons deal that leads to the death of the son of a powerful Florida crime lord played brilliantly by John Travolta. After the operation, Frank goes to Puerto Rico for a family reunion while Travolta's Howard Saint goes on the offensive to punish the man that killed his son.
Unlike other recent Marvel movies, Daredevil for example, The Punisher takes a more straightforward and concise approach to showing how Frank is pointed down the path of becoming a vigilante. There isn't a long, drawn out recovery period. His family is killed and then the hunt is on. At that point of the film I was pretty psyched.
Then it got kind of bad for about an hour. There was a whole bunch of unnecessary feel-good crap stuck in there. Now, let's face it, the Punisher is not a nice guy and this movie tried to make you think that he is. The Punisher is truly an anti-hero and I wish the film hadn't gotten away from that point. There was some Blade style humor thrown in but, as an example, the entire fight with the Russian hitman was terrible and the scene with Harry Heck felt like a bad ripoff of Desperado. Okay, more than "felt," is WAS a ripoff of Desperado.
This same portion of the film also foisted a group of motley, down-on-their-luck apartment residents on us to help show the human side of Frank Castle. But they had a misstep here as well; casting Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as Joan, a downtrodden waitress with a heart of gold. Let's face it, no matter how much mud you thrown on Rebecca she's still fucking hot and totally not believable as white trash. Now, Jaime Pressly I could buy as white trash...she's hot but with that slutty, I-just-took-it-in-the-ass-and-now-I'm-going-to-the-dollar-store look.
But I digress. Mixed in with the bad stuff there was still a thread of brilliance in the plotting done to line up the endgame for Frank Castle. And when that end came in the last 30 minutes of the film it was pure kick-ass action. From knife fights to big guns to bow and arrow, we were finally treated to the Punisher that we know and love from the pages of our comic.
I'm sure that a lot of fans of the comics will not like this movie, and there are others that won't as well, but I did like the film. I'd have liked it better if they would have stuck the first and last half hours together and given us more Travolta and a truly dark Frank Castle. There was some cheese in there that didn't need to be, but they got a good year one story in the can and I can only hope that this kicks off a franchise.
Next time around give us a darker Frank Castle and skip Romijn-Stamos and you'll have a sure winner. Another 2.5 wheels of cheddar out of 4.
4-18-2004
Net Enigma. Sexier than ever.
Round 2 of "The 128 Hottest" is up and running and votes are coming in already. Thank god.
Ralph kind of let me down as he didn't have it Thursday...or Friday...or even early on Saturday. I was pretty pissed about that till I found out one of the reasons he didn't get things done. He broke up with his girlfriend, Stacey.
I felt bad for him, then I got over it, cracked the whip and told him to finish up round 2. He did and now everything is better.
4-17-2004
Net Enigma. Hating things.
Big news, round 2 is NOW LIVE! That's right, it's finally time to get out the vote for the hottest broads that we thought of.
Now, like I mentioned before, we're just playing the game through the bracket so the match-ups you see are simply the next round of winners...we bagged the entire double elimination thing. Because, well, you waited long enough for this round.
Hit the link and enjoy!
4-15-2004
Net Enigma. M-A-R-S, Mars bitch!
What the hell happened to us yesterday? I don't know, the site was down, Earthlink who hosts us wasn't very forthcoming about the problem but it sucked. I guess some people were able to get to us but not everyone...including me and Ralph.
What does that mean? We didn't get round 2 of "The 128 Hottest" up and running. BUT, it should be up later today.
Because of the down time, a command decision on my part and some feedback on round 2, we are making an adjustment. Instead of a double-elimination round 2 we're just going to run the bracket normally. So, that means that round 2 will just be a 1-on-1 battle with the winners from round one advancing.
Is that boring? Maybe. Is it still going to be fun? I think so. I'd love to hear some feedback though. Hit the Forum link on the menu and post your thoughts and ideas on the 128 Hottest board. I'll be back later to put the game on-line.
4-11-2004
Net Enigma. Alive and kicking.
Round 1 is now closed! Boo-Ya! I am totally psyched with the game so far as it seemed to run pretty smoothly. Now, we only had 33 votes which is great, but I'd love to double that for the next round, so tell your friends and spread the link around on the forums.
So, do you want to know who won? Of course you do! So hit the link below to see the bracket:
Now, round 1 had some HUGE winners. How about Dalene Kurtis going 31-2 over Kristen Wilson? Or Britney Spears, no big surprise, demolishing Estella Warren by 23 votes? There were a couple other big winners but some of the close ones were more interesting.
Now, Dalene got another shot after being beaten almost as bad in the first game by eventual winner Elisha Cuthbert. But the other all star from the first game, Gwen Stefani, still got no love in a 1 vote loss to Carly Pope, an unknown actress in my opinion.
A couple other surprises? Tia Texada over Victoria's Secret model Adriana Lima by 5 votes, Gina Gershon in a squeaker over Christina Applegate and French-Canada over French-France with Avril Lavigne beating Ludivine Sagnier.
But, don't get too comfortable with your winners, because round 2 has the potential to really mix things up. If you've read the rules and FAQ you will already know about the surprise in round 2 but if you haven't, let me lay it down for you.
Because we wanted to make it a double elimination game this time around, round 2 will consist of 32 votes but each vote, instead of being between 2 girls will be between 4 girls. The 64 winners that you choose in this round will be broken up randomly into sets of 4. You will choose 1 girl from each set of 4 to advance to round 3.
The losing 64 girls from round 1 will also be randomly split into groups of 4 and you will vote for the hottest chick in each of those groups as well. When round 2 is over we'll have 32 girls total advance into round 3 where they will be put back into 1-on-1 competition like in round 1.
So, this round will really make you think. Not only will you have to eliminate some of the winners from round 1, but you'll also get a second shot at bringing some of the round 1 losers back into the game to compete for the title.
Stop back Wednesday afternoon for the start of round 2 where the pictures get hotter, the action gets more intense and the game really steps into high gear!
4-11-2004
Net Enigma. Just 36 hours.
That's right. As I type this you you have just 36 hours left to vote in round 1 of "The 128 Hottest" contest. Get those votes in! I've got 27 votes and I know there are a few more of you that I haven't heard from (Finley, Dog, J-Ass!!)
4-9-2004
Net Enigma. Evenin', bitches.
It's all about The 128 Hottest this week. We have 24 votes in and I want to see about 200 more so get off your asses and spread the word. From those that I have heard back from, they're pretty happy with the girls this time around.
So, submit the link to your favorite forum, put it on the bulletin board at work or shout it on the street. And then vote!
In the WTF Category
Pierced, tattooed, grommeted, implanted...it's all about the extreme makeover these days. Now some chucklehead in the Netherlands is implanting jewelry in your eye. All I have to say is getthefuckouttahere with that noise.
I've lost a contact in my eyeball before, which was enough pain for 2 afternoons in the dentists chair, and I've poked the shit out of my ear trying to put an earring back in while hammered. I don't need a half moon poking out my retina.
I mean, I made it through all those dangerous, formative years of BB gun fights, riding bikes without helmets and jumping 3-wheelers (we didn't have those stable, keep-your-pussy-dry 4-wheelers back then!) in the gravel pit, I'm not about to lose an eye for vanity.
Summer Movie Season
Usually the summer movie season kicks off in May, about the time that TV is winding down. This year, however, I think we can point to last weeks Hellboy as the start and you might even be able to argue The Passion of the Christ if you wanted to.
But, semantics aside, you have to admit that a big load of movies are coming, and fast. The Whole Ten Yards and The Girl Next Door open today and now we're just one week away from Kill Bill Volume 2 and Punisher. I can't think of a better time for movies.
Plus, last night I saw a long, and new to me, trailer for Spider-Man 2 which is opening June 30th. I'm going insane waiting for this movie.
Looking for an MP3
I've been looking for an MP3 for a while now and I'm not having any luck. And, not wanting to dole out my hard-earned cash on a CD (plus the fact that I want exactly 1 track from it), I'm going to resort to shameless begging. I'm looking for a song called "Attitude" from a British band named Hardknox.
If you can hook me up with a good rip of that tune I'd gladly toss something your way in the form of other MP3's or some random amateur porn or something.
Now, I'm off to go run with scissors.
4-7-2004
Net Enigma, the perfect companion to unprotected sex.
Well after some fits the "128 Hottest" is now up and running. We've already received 14 votes in round 1 and are well on our way to successful game...I hope. So, get your votes in and tell your friends! Hit the banner at the top!
Since we got a late start on this we're running it till Monday, April 12 at midnight. Round 2 will be a week also. We want to cross a weekend with each vote so it's looking like Tuesday afternoon till the following Monday at midnight will be the run this time around.
Feel free to head over to the forums and discuss the game, ask questions or post on anything.
We don't need no stinkin' condom
There's a lot of people still hittin' it raw according to this study.
Now, I don't really get it. If you don't know where it's been, do you really want to go sticking your cock in it? I mean, look at it this way, I've stuck my hands into some sketchy computer systems that I didn't know where they'd been and I immediately washed up. Some guys, however, will pick up Lisa the college bar slut, throw a leg in her and go merrily on their way, oblivious to anything but the fact they just got some snatch.
I guess my stock in Trojan isn't going up anytime soon.
Chappelle's Show
You guys watch Chappelle? Man, what a funny motherfucker that guy is. It'll be even funnier when I see him live in Atlantic City in July, bitch! Now, that freakin' show sold out in about 10 minutes though. Can you believe that? Lucky that I got tickets, unfortunately, we didn't get all that we wanted because it sold out so fast.
4-6-2004
Finally! I think we finally have the game all set and ready to go. Now, first up an apology. Sorry, again, for not having it up and running Monday night like I said. We ran across some more difficulties in the programming of the game. But now, no April Fools jokes, no more delays, the game is now live!
Hit the banner link at the top of the page and enjoy "The 128 Hottest Chicks we didn't think of...the first time."
Be sure to read the rules and FAQ at the beginning of the game or stop into the forums and read the 128 Hottest board, they are posted there as well.
One update on this. Because of some of the problems we had with the game, you will be submitting your votes via e-mail again this time around. As you go through the game, click on the pictures of the girls you want to vote on. After you have made all your choices an email will pop up.
YOU MUST SEND THIS EMAIL
If you don't submit the email, your vote won't be recorded. I know, it's a pain in the ass. But, that's what you run into.
Anyway, hit the link up at the top and enjoy!
Net Enigma. Back from the weekend with big news.
Why Mac sucks
This is a funny flash spoof of the Mac "Switch" commercials. Check it out.
Big News
It's Tuesday morning (early) and there is no "128 Hottest" game. I'm not even going to try and explain, it just sucks. I'm writing this update and it's 1:17a.m. and The Buckle bailed on me, the game isn't done and I can't keep my eyes open.
No excuses, we fucked up. Stop by later in the day and I'll have this thing up and running as soon as possible.
4-3-2004
Net Enigma. How big could it be anyway?
It could be HUGE! And by huge I mean a multiple-movie franchise. The movie I'm speaking of is Hellboy which opened up last night. Now, I'm giving you a spoiler alert here because a couple things may throw the movie for you if you read on. You've been warned.
Starring Ron Perlman in the lead roll, Hellboy is based on a comic book series by Mike Mignola that has been around for several years. In the 1940's the Nazi's were looking to paranormal and magical solutions to help them with world domination. Grigori Rasputin was used by the Germans to open a portal into space to bring forth demons. Ambushed by the American's, their plan failed but not before a baby Hellboy came through. Raised by Professor Bruttenholm, Hellboy is one member of a team of paranormals that help defend the world from evil. The others include Selma Blair's Liz Sherman and Doug Jones as Abe Sapien. Now it's present day and Rasputin is back.
Just to get it out of the way, the action and F/X in this film are really insane. Some of the baddies are pure CGI but the main characters, unless being filmed in wild action scenes, are mostly people in make-up and that helps make the movie look incredible. The detailed sets and character costumes out-X-Men the X-Men movies.
This film has a solid script that not only tells the story but also sets up the characters. It's well directed by Guillermo del Toro who has also brought us Blade II and Mimic. The movie has a great feel to it from start to finish and has a polish to it that will make it watchable multiple times.
But, let's get to the heart of this film, Ron Perlman. Perlman has always been able to pull off characters while in elaborate make-up and this movie is no exception. He IS Hellboy and owns the part. He looks great and is as believable as a 6'5", red-skinned devil as anyone could be. His witty delivery of his lines during some of the scenes is superb. Raised with Liz Sherman, Hellboy is in love with her and the scenes between the two of them are really incredible.
Two scenes, in particular, show this best. Hellboy's interaction on a rooftop with a kid is funny and also shows the love that he feels for Liz. The second is near the end when he and Liz come together again. The look between them and the feelings that finally get expressed rivals any chick flick your girlfriend could ever drag you to.
Now, I haven't read any of the "Hellboy" comics so I can't really compare the two for you. I can say this, however; This may very well be the new measuring stick for all future comic book movies. I think I've said that before, but if I did, just forget it. It's solid from the bottom up with great acting, writing and directing. The F/X and costumes are used to great advantage and don't overshadow the storytelling. And that would be an easy thing to have happen with this type of movie. Hellboy is as much character driven as it is action driven and for that reason I feel that a sequel to this is not only a good option but a necessity.
I can't wait to see this film again and may go to the theater a second time. I'll definitely be in line to buy the inevitable DVD. I can honestly give this movie a solid, unspoiled 4 wheels of cheddar out of 4. The only flaw that I can find is that the movie had to end...and seriously, is that a "flaw?"
4-2-2004
Net Enigma. Shady.
Did I get you with the April Fools joke? Well, sorry about that. It really was an accident that we didn't get the game running for yesterday, but since it was April Fools day, well, it worked out.
Today the teaser slideshow is back and I'm also releasing the list of girls that will be in the "128 Hottest" contest.
The 128 Hottest Chicks we didn't think off. The roster
4-1-2004
Net Enigma. The smack your momma's ass and and bang your old lady from behind web site.
Today is April 1st and as promised the "128 Hottest Chicks" game is up and running! Just click the banner at the top and enjoy!
New Movie Friday
Tomorrow is the premier of "Hellboy" at theaters everywhere. I'm all set to head up and see it with Todd and Grub. Should be really good so be sure to get out and see it. And stop back here on Saturday morning for a review. I can tell you know that it's probably going to rock and get high marks from me, but, we'll see.