News Archive - May 2005
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5-26-2005
Net Enigma. We have just lost cabin pressure.
Okay, so I'm a TV fan. A big fan. I have "my shows" that I like to watch and the end of the regular season is always a bitch. It's when they change things up, leave you with cliffhangers and royally screw with you for 4 months till the fall season starts up again...that is IF they renew the show.
Anyway, the past 2 weeks have seen the ending of some of my favorites. Last week saw the finale of shows like "The O.C." and "ER" as well as "CSI." They had their normal teaser endings but really, nothing too bad.
This week, however, is a whole different story. Monday night was just a taste of what was to come with the end of "24." Surprise, surprise, Jack Bauer saved the day but had to fake his death and head for Mexico. An interesting way to leave things.
But wait, Tuesday night saw the end of "One Tree Hill." Now, this show is odd...I can't explain my attraction to it (okay, maybe I can) but the finale really ticked me off. It basically set up the entire town to possibly be the culprit in the murder of the town villain. I can't wait for next season.
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Also on Tuesday was "NCIS." This show has one of my favorites on it, Sasha Alexander, because, well, she's fuckin' hot. But I can't look forward to that next season because in the last 10 seconds of the season finale she took a bullet to the head! Fuck! I jumped off the couch when that went down...I invented a new swear word.
Now, last night the season finales for "Lost" and "Alias" were on. I taped "Lost" and haven't watched it yet but I did watch "Alias." If any of you have seen that show before you know that they have a knack for really giving the audience a mind-fuck every spring. Last night was no different. Just as we think that Sydney and Vaughn are going to get together, he drops a bombshell on her; His real name isn't Michael Vaughn and he BAM, CRUNCH, CAR ACCIDENT ROLL CREDITS!!!!
ARRRGGHHH!
Several more new swear words were created. One sounded something like "whatheholyfuckshitmotherfucker!" I then threw a pillow at the TV. I mean, that's why they call them "throw pillows" right?
Interior decorators surrender.
I don't think I can take watching the season finale of "Lost."
Hippies with Bombs
Normally Ithaca is a peaceful little town where the biggest controversy is over the nut content of the granola. Yesterday, however, someone actually had the balls to plant a "bomb" next to Wal-Mart. I guess they really don't want that store in this town.
Holy Catfish, Batman!
Look at the size of this fuckin' catfish! Weighing in at 124lbs it's a record setter. But there's no way around the fact that that is probably the most ugly fish invented.
Here's something totally new
A blonde-haired pop singer. Ah, never mind...
5-25-2005
Net Enigma. I never did one thing right in my life, ya know? That takes skill.
It doesn't, however, take skill to update a freakin' web page. But it does take time which I haven't seemed to have had a lot of in the last week. I'll get some updates up this week...including a couple movie reviews!
Till then, meet Cherry
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5-16-2005
Net Enigma. I'm good in an emergency. It's that day-to-day stuff I have a problem with.
Woohoo! Dave Chappelle has NOT gone 'round the bend. In an interview with "Time" he comes clean as to why he shuffled off to South Africa, and good news is, it's to regroup from fame and fortune, not because he's been feasting on Peanut Butter and Crack sandwiches.
He's hanging out with one of his boys and "recharging." Whether or not he'll be back for season 3 of "Chappelle's Show" isn't answered, however.
I'm just relieved that he's not in a padded room somewhere.
Holy shit!
This is the funniest thing I've read in a very long time. Not for the faint of stomach.
5-15-2005
Forums are back online as of some time this morning. Haven't logged in to see what kind of features Proboards added but I will in the next day or so.
5-14-2005
Looks like ProBoards is upgrading the forums this weekend so they are unavailable right now. I'm sure all the frequent posters are very disappointed. Both of them...
5-13-2005
Net Enigma. I'm an equal opportunity instigator.
Either Ashton Kutcher just got Punk'd, or he's not man enough for Demi Moore. Tell you what, Ashton, give Demi my phone number and I'd be glad to fulfill those manly duties for you.
Stupid Quote of the Day
"The most dangerous places in our country are where there are no guns." - Sheriff David Crenshaw. I'm sure people will be happy to know that places like, oh, their local church, aren't safe anymore.
Dumbass.
What makes the comment worse is that it's at the tail end of an article talking about an Alabama deputy that accidentally allowed a young student to discharge his firearm in school. But, judging by the insightful comments of the Sheriff, we shouldn't be surprised that there may be a lack of training somewhere along the line.
Further proving the point...
...that Alabama isn't turning out the brightest people in the US, we have this gem about a guy that accidentally shot himself while cleaning his gun. Three times...
Hmmm...
Five buffalo escape from a meat packing plant and start grazing in a lot. It takes the police 120 rifle rounds to kill them. Reports the officers screamed "It's coming right for us," before opening fire is unconfirmed.
I'm glad they evacuated the residents living near the field, though, because it seems that those buffalo were dangerous. What with shooting up the houses and cars in the neighborhood. Oh, wait...
In happier news
Adriana Lima's breasts really are that beautiful.
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5-12-2005
Net Enigma. We get drunk so you don't have to.
I stumbled across a web site that has now had me laughing for 3 days. The site, www.zug.com , has some great pranks that the writer, John Hargrove, has played on various people an companies.
Make sure to check out both of the Credit Card pranks. The site has enough stuff to keep you laughing for hours.
Losing his mind
Things are looking more bleak for season 3 of "Chappelle's Show." Word is now that Chappelle checked himself into a psych hospital in South Africa and has been there since sometime in April.
I'm waiting for this to all just be the ultimate sketch for the show...
I like this guy
So, everyone pretty much loved Pope John Paul, but I think this new guys gonna be pretty fun too.
5-11-2005
Net Enigma. I find that cadavers tend to get noticed in public.
Bodies in the falls? Must be finals week at Cornell.
Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?
The pressure of work, partying and creative differences have now been tossed into the mix as to why season 3 of "Chappelle's Show" is on hold.
Whatever the reasons, they better figure out a way to get passed them. And in the mean time, I hope this doesn't delay the release of season 2 on DVD which is supposed to drop in 2 weeks.
5-7-2005
Net Enigma. The following contains strong language and violence.
The white-washing of America
The Texas state legislature is proposing a bill that will clean up high school cheerleading. The FCC has passed out record fines in the last year for various reasons and at least one state rep is looking to ban books from schools that are either about gays, written by gays or have a gay title, making "Lord of the Rings" a definite no-no.
Okay, I made the last one up, but don't give anyone in Alabama an idea.
But I have to ask, what the hell is going on? Granted the US has had some issues over the last 30 years or so with decency and such, but trying to set our culture back 100 years is over-compensating. People have always been about the separation of church and state, but you can't honestly believe that these types of laws or proposals aren't driven by religious beliefs.
It seems to me that Bush feels he has a mandate from the citizens because they reelected him, but the religious conservatives that put him there now seem to think they have the mandate to push their right-wing positions on the rest of us . It needs to stop.
Stop, bitch!
Well, shit. Seems that season 3 of "Chappelle's Show" is on indefinite hold because Chappelle has been MIA from the set. Get back to work, son. I need me some Rick James, bitch! I need to see more Charley Murphy. And where the hell are the Haters at?
Get back to work! WHAT? Get back to work! WHAT? I said, get back to work. OKAAAY!!!
In other news
The Yankees are in the toilet this season. And Kevin Brown appears to be off his meds.
5-4-2005
Net Enigma. Affirmative. Huh? Roger! Yeah! What? Meltin' down! Aaaagh!
Lil Jon may be cool now, but in 1989 he was was the model for Urkel. What? Okaaaay!
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Run!
No matter how hot a broad is, some guy is already tired of her shit. In this case, America is tired of her shit. But not her fiancé. Dumbass.
By the way
I'm still entirely wiped out with this super cold that I caught in Indiana last week.
5-1-2005
Net Enigma. I told you she doesn't have very many friends. She's alienating and severe.
Dumb bitch. She runs away from her wedding because she got cold feet and when she runs out of money, blames a Hispanic guy. I guess Hispanic is the new "black" when looking for a token shady character to blame a non-existent crime on. Race relations have come so far...
Anyway, I hope her fiancé runs away. Fast. And for your pain and suffering, take that $100K her family was putting up for her return.