News Archive - June 2009
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6-29-2009
Transformed
The box office for the weekend was completely blown away by the new Transformers movie. It took in an estimated $112 million from Friday through Sunday, and added to the Wednesday and Thursday total, the film scored over $201 million for five days! The only film bigger than that at this point is The Dark Knight which pulled in $203.8 million over five days last year.
I my opinion, screw the reviewers on this film. It proves again that the popularity, the watchability and certainly the bankability of a film does not turn on the opinions of the paid reviewers. Actually, that's a good thing. Otherwise we'd have to suffer through a lot more films like Chicago or Little Miss Sunshine.
The general public still likes to see shit blow up real good. So here's to $201 million at the box office and another sequel in two or three years.
Hi, God here!
The big guy has called pitch man Billy Mays home after 50 years of selling us shit that we probably didn't need. I will admit that Mays was pretty popular, mostly for his loud voice, odd hand gestures and his ridiculous beard. But, I guess he was better than some of the other pitchmen like ShamWow Vince. At least Billy never slap chopped a hooker in a Miami hotel room.
Man, it's been a tough couple of weeks for celebrities. David Carradine gets offed in Thailand, Ed McMahon joined Johnny, Farah Fawcett's ass killed her, Michael Jackson imploded, and now Mays is dead. Plus there have been a bunch of other people that died in the last week or so, people that most of us have never heard of but our parents may have (hint; they were old).
So who else is going to kick it this week? My money is on Swayze.
6-24-2009
I've Fallen and I can't get up...
When I was a kid I was a big fan of Star Wars toys and then when G.I. Joe came along I moved on to that as well as the comic and cartoon series. I was aware of Transformers but other than watching a bootleg copy of the animated movie a couple years ago, I don't think I'd ever seen an episode of the original Transformers cartoon. In 2007 when Transformers was about to open I actually got excited, after all, what's better than giant robots beating the shit out of each other? So I went and I loved it, and I've been looking forward to the sequel since it was announced.
Last night it was time for that sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opened at midnight at the local theater and I crammed in with a nearly sold-out crowd for more robots beating the shit out of each other. And it was freakin' awesome!
All the stars from the first film are back. Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky, Megan Fox as Mikaela, Josh Duhamel as Lennox, Tyrese as Sergeant Epps, John Turturro as Simmons, and Julie White and Kevin Dunn as Sam's parents Judy and Ron.
Of course, Michael Bay was in the driver's seat because nobody blows shit up quite like he does.
Spoilers blowing up below....because everything in a Bay film blows up. Duh.
The setup for the second installment is that the Transformers had originally come to Earth thousands of years ago in search of energy. Energy that they obtained by blowing up stars. The one rule the Transformers had was that they didn't blow up stars of inhabited planets. The Fallen was sent to Earth but decided to destroy the sun even though the planet was inhabited. He built the machine to destroy the sun but a battle ensued between factions of the Transformers. The Fallen was defeated by the Primes who took the machine's power source, the Matrix, and sacrificed themselves to hide it.
Banished from Earth, the Fallen has been in hiding, plotting his revenge. That revenge includes an ass whooping followed by reactivating his sun destroying machine. But the Autobots and an international military force called NEST stand in the way. The key to the Fallen's return, however, is Sam, who, while packing to leave for college, finds a shard of the Allspark which implants in him the knowledge to find the Matrix.
Revenge of the Fallen is set two years after the events of the previous film. Sam is headed to college on the East cost while Mikaela is staying home to work with her father at his motorcycle shop. Lennox and Epps are assigned to NEST and still work with Optimus Prime, Ratchet and Ironhide as well as some new Autobots such as Sideswipe, Skids and Mudflap.
Bumblebee is still with Sam, protecting him, but Sam has led a relatively quiet life for the past two years. NEST, on the other hand, has been working to take out Decepticons and keep the existence of the robots a secret from the world. That's not actually going well for them after a bad incident in China. Things only get worse after Sam finds the shard of the Allspark and is once again targeted by the Decepticons.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has a running time of 2 hours and 20 minutes so to go through all of the plot would take longer than actually seeing it. So go see it. Seriously, go, it's a helluva fun ride that follows Sam and Mikaela across the globe as they search for the Matrix. The film even follows a resurrected Megatron to the Fallen's hideout which appears to be on a moon around Saturn.
While Transformers had a dozen or so robots, Revenge has dozens and dozens of them, I think the count is something like 40 different robots. So many, in fact, that Scott Farrar, who works for ILM, has said that a computer rendering footage for the film blew up, literally, during a hard night of work. According to Farrar they actually had smoke coming out of equipment in their server farm.
Any Michael Bay film is going to be heavy on the explosions and special effects and Revenge is no different. The film does a great job of keeping the pace fast and frenetic but manages to stay on target with the plot of the story. The acting consists of a lot of yelling and screaming but with John Turturro back there is plenty of humor in the film also. Ramon Rodriguez joins the cast as Leo, Sam's new college roommate who just happens to be a robot conspiracy buff. Leo gets dragged along on the adventure and adds a lot of humor to his scenes, especially with Turturro's Simmons.
The first half hour or so of the film is a little goofy and somewhat slow, but after that it kicks in the afterburners and doesn't turn you loose till the end. A few of the action scenes with the robots fighting get confusing to watch. There are times when you don't know exactly what it is you are looking at. It's also unfortunate that a few of the robots, especially the Decepticons, are hard recognize in their robot form. Megatron and Starscream, especially, were hard for me to keep straight at times unless they were talking. Even when you do fight sequences 100% in the computer it doesn't stop the director from shooting those action sequences too closely (my pet peeve). There are also a few things thrown in for humor that were maybe a little too blatant of a joke. Subtlety is not necessarily Bay's cup of tea but throwing stuff in just because you can isn't needed either.
Still, the good outweighs the bad in my opinion. The film is excellent for what it is, a movie based on a toy. I have to admit I was ready to run out and spend money on Transformers toys after seeing this film.
LaBeouf does a decent job in the film but, as I said, really all he has to do is run around and scream a lot. Same for Fox, but she has her moments in the film and no matter your opinion of her, the girl could be a really good actress given the right material (Dear Kevin Smith, please write this girl a juicy part in a film). Turturro steals a lot of the scenes he's in, sometimes with the help of Rodriguez. Duhamel has some moments as Lennox but Tyrese is relegated to tossing out one liners and looking tough while shooting at things.
I looked back to see what rating I gave to Transformers in 2007 and I gave it a 4.5. I think this film holds up to the first installment and I have no problem handing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen four and a half wheels of cheddar out of five.
The film is a great escape and not once during it will you find yourself looking at your watch, even though it does have a long running time. Head out to a theater and see this film if you get a chance.
6-22-2009
Operation Ward 57
The Pennsylvania Star Wars Collecting Society is selling a limited edition medallion as a fundraiser to support Operation Ward 57. The medallion features Obi-Wan Kenobi, the heroic Jedi Master from Star Wars - The Clone Wars. The medallions were produced in a one-time run of 1000 pieces with the permission of Lucasfilm Ltd. The cost is $10 per medallion, with a limit of 3 medallions per household. 100% of the proceeds generated through the sale of these medallions will be donated to Operation Ward 57.
Operation Ward 57 is a charitable organization that collects donations to benefit the veterans in the orthopedic Ward 57 at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Ward 57 cares for some of the most severely injured military veterans who return from operations overseas. Operation Ward 57 purchases comfort and support items to help these veterans and their families through difficult and trying times. To learn more about Operation Ward 57, please visit: http://www.operationward57.org
The members of PSWCS hope you will consider supporting this worthy cause through purchasing these medallions. You can order at: http://www.pswcs.com/OperationWard57
6-15-2009
Hair of the dog
That's the cure for a hangover, yes? If so, there should be a lot of people looking for a drink around the country today as they recover from The Hangover. In it's second week at the theater, Hangover retained its number 1 spot taking in another $33 million (estimated). I was more than happy to add my $8 to that total yesterday afternoon. I was at the mall and decided to see if there was a show starting and, as luck would have it, there was one coming up about 10 minutes after I looked. So, I went.
I am so glad I did.
The Hangover is one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time. It was almost non-stop laughter from the jump. The cast includes Bradley Cooper as Phil, Ed Helms as Stu, Zach Galifianakis as Alan, and Justin Bartha as Doug. Doug is about to get married to Tracy (Sasha Barrese) and his two best friends, Phil and Stu, along with his soon-to-be brother-in-law Alan, take him to Las Vegas for his bachelor party.
After upgrading their room, the four friends sneak onto the roof of their hotel to kick off the night with a round of Jägermeister shots. Hours later Phil, Stu and Alan wake up in their trashed room with no memory of the night before. And no Doug. And a baby in the closet. And a tiger in the bathroom.
While this could have been a terrible update of Dude, Where's My Car, it's not. It's much funnier! The three friends begin to piece together the night by clues left in the room and the car (a stolen police cruiser). As they scour Las Vegas for Doug they encounter an increasingly hilarious cast of characters including Mike Epps as Black Doug, Ken Jeong as Mr. Chow, Heather Graham as Jade, Rob Riggle as Officer Franklin and Mike Tyson.
I'm going to forego the usual spoiler laden review because the film needs to be seen to appreciate all the sight gags and one liners in the film.
Zach is hilarious in the film as the slightly off brother of Doug's fiancé. Whether the writers put in all the great stuff for him or if he improved it, it was genius. From the awkward changing scene with Doug at the start of the film to the Rainman scene at the casino, he stole the film.
Fans of "The Office" know what Ed Helms brings to the table, and he doesn't disappoint as Stu, the submissive dentist who lets his girlfriend Melissa (Rachael Harris) run his life. From lying to Melissa about the destination of the party (Napa Valley!) to singing about losing Doug to finding out just how he lost that tooth, Stu probably grows the most as a character in the film.
Bradley Cooper's Phil is the playboy of the group, up for anything on this party trip away from his family. After fleecing his students for party money, Phil looks to be the instigator of the night before ending up being the rock that pulls the friends together to find Doug.
Do they find Doug and get him home in time for the wedding? Whose baby is that? What happened to Stu's tooth and where the hell do you find a tiger in Las Vegas (that's not attached to Roy's neck)? Head to your local theater and ride along as the night unfolds. And stay into the closing credits for a look at the photos from Stu's digital camera!
While the movie isn't entirely original in it's premise, a lost night, the execution is perfect and I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while. I'll easily give this film five wheels of cheddar out of five!
6-10-2009
One Meeellion Words!
According to this article over on CNN.com, today, at approximately 5:22am (while you lazy bastards are asleep most likely), the English language will add it's one millionth word.
I'm hoping the word is HBYNHO. Well, that's more of an acronym than a word, but you get the idea. Just in case you need a refresher, Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh will help you out with that.
6-7-2009
Why I Don't Play Video Games
This past week the 2009 E3 convention was held in Los Angeles and reminded me once again that I should see what's coming up in the video gaming world. Some of the standouts that I've watched trailers for include an interesting MMO from LucasArts called "Star Wars: The Old Republic," a sequel to "Assassins Creed" and an interesting zombie game that plays like a movie called "Alan Wake."
But while the bright lights and slick marketing of those games make them look like fun, I see videos like the one below that remind me that, in the end, most of the games blow their load on the trailer and end up being less than stellar. Unlike a movie that does the same thing (Angels & Demons), with a video game you're out $60 instead of $10.
If you've recently thought about picking up "MLB 2K9," for example, watch this video and then decide if beer and strippers might not be a better use of your hard-earned entertainment dollars.
6-2-2009
More of the Same
NBC and CBS have mostly lackluster offerings for this coming fall so will the two remaining networks have anything worthwhile? Probably not.
ABC
It's looking like ABC has the most new shows coming this year. Some of the actual debut dates for these shows is kind of murky but most of them are for the fall season that starts around September.
First up, the comedies. "Cougar Town" is basically what the title implies, in 2009 anyway. It stars Courtney Cox as Jules, a recently divorced mother who is on the prowl for younger men. The cougars also happen to be the local football mascot, but that's probably just so your kid doesn't ask you awkward questions about this show. Busy Philipps also stars as does Dan Byrd as Jules' son Travis. The trailer for this show is actually kind of fun and Courtney even shows off her bikini bod a couple of times. Broad still has it.
Kelsey Grammer is back on the tube with his new family comedy, "Hank." David Koechner and Melinda McGraw also star in the series about a high powered business man that's forced out of his company and has to move back to a small town. Sounds like "Providence" or "Ed," big fish in a small pond.
Patricia Heaton, who just starred with Grammer in a short lived comedy is also coming back in a new show called "The Middle." The info for this show is so bland it's not even worth anoth....zzzzZZZZZzzzz....
Ed O'Neill is also back to network television with his new show "Modern Family." The show is about three families, shot documentary style like "The Office," living in the modern world. On the plus side, Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara, who co-star, are both pretty hot.
On the drama front we have "The Deep End." Think of it as the new "Boston Public" or "Raising the Bar," or "LA Law," but probably only as good as "Justice." In other words, you've seen this show before. It has Billy Zane in it for shit's sake. On the plus side, The Kurgan and Mac Mackenzie are both in it.
Know how NBC is bringing a movie to TV with their take on "Parenthood?" ABC gets in on that whole ancient film now in glossy TV wrapping with "Eastwick," based on The Witches of Eastwick. Only instead of Oscar winners like Jack Nicholson, Cher and Susan Sarandon, or the Oscar nominated Michelle Pfeiffer, we get Rebecca Romijn, Lindsay Price and Jamie Ray Newman. I curse this show now.
Now for the three promising shows from the alphabet network. "Flash Forward," which stares Joseph Fiennes, John Cho, Courtney B. Vance, and Sonya Walger, follows a group of people who shared in a global event that caused everyone to experience a 2 minute and 17 second blackout where they saw their lives six months in the future. The shocking thing about the show is that J.J. Abrams doesn't have anything to do with it (David S. Goyer directed the pilot by the looks of things). I'm a sucker for sci-fi so we'll have to see what's up with this show.
Up next is "The Forgotten" which is about amateur investigators that research John and Jane Doe murder victims, trying to find out who they are in order to help catch their killers. I've never heard of most of the cast but "24's" Reiko Aylesworth is in it along with Michelle Borth giving the show's hotness quotient a +2.
Finally, for the full-blown sci-fi fan, "V" makes a comeback. I guess boring old movies coming to TV can be trumped by not quite boring old TV coming back. For those of you unlucky enough to have never seen the original "V," it's about a race of lizard people, in human disguise, called the Visitors who show up on Earth and give the standard "we come in peace" schtick. Of course they don't come in peace, they're fucking lizard people! This isn't your father's "Alien Nation." But let me hit you with some names on this one; Elizabeth Mitchell, Morena Baccarin, Laura Vandervoort and Lourdes Benedicto. If the lizards all looked like that, well, I'd volunteer to be eaten. Also, some guys named Joel Gretsch, Alan Tudyk, Morris Chestnut and Scott Wolf are in it. What, no Robert Englund, Marc Singer and Michael Ironside cameos? Anyway, the genre credit in those names should give this show all the pull it needs. I'll be looking forward to this show.
FOX
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Really? Do you care what they put on new this fall when nothing will last more than a week or two? Fuck'em. Besides, I'm looking at their schedule and I only see one, maybe two new shows anyway. One of them, "Glee," just started or had a pilot shown or something. I don't really care, I'm straight.
Ah, you know what? Scratch that. They do have one show on the list for 2010 that looks promising. "Human Target" stars Mark Valley, Jackie Earle Haley and Chi McBride. Valley is Christopher Chance, a private security guard that integrates himself into his client's personal lives to basically become the target, thus protecting his employer. The show has fuckin' Rorschach in it, bitches! And Emerson Cod! And Keen Eddie! Huzzah!
6-1-2009
Fall Schedules
I've already lamented the loss of a couple television shows that won't be back next fall but now it's time to take a look at some of the new stuff that the networks are offering up. I'm gonna tackle CBS and NBC today. CBS has a lot of successful shows so their new schedule isn't huge. NBC, on the other hand, got rid of a couple shows and will have Jay Leno five nights a week in the 10:00 slot, really causing a mess in their schedule.
CBS
CBS is showing a total of four new shows and one free agent for the 2009-2010 season. They add a new comedy, "Accidentally on Purpose," and three dramas, "NCIS: Los Angeles," "The Good Wife," and "Three Rivers." The free agent is "Medium" which had been airing on NBC
"Accidentally on Purpose" stars Jenna Elfman as Billie, who finds herself "accidentally" pregnant after a hook up. The guy moves in and boring, stupid shit is bound to ensue. Yawn.
"NCIS: LA" is a spinoff off the hit show "NCIS" and was introduced in a 2-part episode this spring. The show set in LA, obviously, stars Chris O'Donnell, LL Cool J and Loise Lombard (Sofia Curtis on "CSI"). The Office of Special Projects team uses a lot of flashy technology and undercover work to bust criminals. O'Donnell and Cool J definitely take the casting on this show up a notch and being from the same people that brought us "NCIS" probably makes this a show to watch. It's paired with "NCIS" in the 9:00 slot on Tuesdays.
Also on Tuesday nights, at 10:00, is the new Julianna Margulies and Chris Noth show, "The Good Wife." Margulies plays Alicia Florrick, an attorney, who has to go back to work when her husband goes to jail. Meh. I have no opinion on this. I won't be watching it even though I am a big fan of Noth. Actually, I was a big fan of Noth as Mike Logan on the "Law & Order" shows. I may be about as much of a fan of him here as I am of him as Mr. Big on "Sex and the City," which is to say I don't have a vagina so I will never see this show.
The last of the new shows is "Three Rivers" staring Alex O'Laughlin and Julia Ormond in a medical drama about transplant surgeons, their patients and the donors. This show airs Sunday 9:00 in a slot that used to air "Cold Case," which has been moved to 10:00. I used to like a show called "Moonlight" which also starred Alex O'Laughlin, only as a vampire who was looking for his own donations, usually of blood. I'm more of a fan of the fangs than the weepy family members of dying transplant patients. Pass.
That leaves "Medium" as the only other newish thing on the CBS schedule. Apparently that show must have been cheaper to get than something new. I don't know. I do know, as I said, that NBC had to trim out some stuff to get Leno on all week so maybe CBS still saw promise in this show and NBC just didn't have the room. Still, it's 9:00 Friday timeslot used to house "Flashpoint" which I would have rather had the chance to watch this Fall.
NBC
As I already mentioned, NBC trimmed out a bunch of stuff to make room for Jay Leno's new show which will air five nights a week in the 10:00 slot. What does that mean for us? A lot of shit will be on NBC this coming year. They've also split their season in half, it appears, because some returning shows are only getting 13 or so episode orders, including "Southland" and maybe "Chuck." "Chuck" isn't actually listed for the Fall schedule so we may have to wait till January to get him back. Besides Leno, NBC is only showing three new shows for the season.
NBC really shook up their schedule also, but for the new stuff we start right in on Mondays at 9:00 with "Trauma" which stars Jamey Sheridan and a bunch of people I don't recognize (but maybe I should?). It's about paramedics in San Francisco and the high stakes rescues they go through to save injured people. It basically sounds like "Emergency!" only amped up for the new millennium crowd...and it probably won't have seven successful seasons.
"Parenthood" drops into Wednesdays at 8:00 and is basically a made for TV version of the Steve Martin film about four siblings and their lives as parents. While the cast sounds good, Maura Tierney, Dax Shepard, Monica Potter, Erika Christensen and Craig T. Nelson, I couldn't be excited for this even if they were sending $1,000 checks every week for me to watch. Did I really have to lose the brilliant "Life" for this crap?
Thursday night only brings on one show, the "My Name is Earl" 8:00 replacement, "Community." The show is about a Community College study group of misfits that are tossed in together through their various life experiences. NBC actually goes so far as to compare it to The Breakfast Club. I'm sorry, but I know The Breakfast Club and this show, sir, is no Breakfast Club. The comparison offends me. The show does have some comedy power with Chevy Chase and Joel McHale but to replace "Earl?" Please.
Stop back in tomorrow and I'll take a look at ABC and FOX. I'd review the CW network for you but since that motherfucking douchebag company, Time Warner, refuses to add CW to the local channel lineup I don't want to unnecessarily excite myself about shows I'll never get to see.