News Archive - July 2003
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7-31-2003
Net Enigma.
Lot's of stuff to update on so let's get right into it. Been kind of busy that last few weeks but things seem to be slowing down lately. Did something fun this week, instead of the Tuesday workout I went out with some friends in a canoe. They took out kayaks and had fun dunking themselves while I was pretty dry...and able to scope out the park where there were some hot broads working out.
Ah, hot broads, that's going to be a running theme today...
Purrrr...
Cat Schwartz. Before I moved to this backwards town I used to watch the cable TV channel TechTV. I'm a geek so it was a good channel to watch. Well, not long before I left York, where I could still get this channel, they added a girl to one of the shows named Cat Schwartz.
Well, in the time since I've been watching, she's beefed up her exposure on-screen as well as on the web. In the case of the web, I really mean "exposure."
I guess it was an accident that the pictures were posted on the web as they were actually PhotoShop previews (or camera previews) imbedded in the original picture which she later cropped for the web. The preview stayed and was able to be pulled up with PhotoShop.
Either way, I say enjoy, because, Cat, YOU'RE HOT! And I don't care that fan-boys everywhere are spanking it to Morgan, Cat is tops in my book.
It's getting hot in herre
So, we have a new grandiose undertaking in the works. Starting, probably, sometime next week Net Enigma, in conjunction with RecallingFaith and Qualler , will be running a bracket-style, single elimination tournament to determine the hottest broad.
Starting with 128 names from movies, music, television, modeling and the news industry, we will pit women against each other in a massive NCAA type bracket showdown where reader votes will determine the winner in 6 rounds of intense competition.
How do you get to vote, you might ask? Well, by invitation. Emails have been sent and a couple more have yet to go out, but check your email for your invitation and check back as the week goes on for further updates.
If you like the HBYNHO, Random Porn or the Net Enigma Advent Calendar features, you're going to love this!
7-25-2003
Net Enigma. "So today is pitifully crawling along like a crippled kid dumped from his wheelchair." - Finley
'Nuff said.
7-12-2003
Net Enigma. He made his money the really old fashioned way, he inherited it.
When you have a good thing going, why change it? That's right, you don't. So, what's the good thing? Dinosaur and Movies. Took Friday off and headed up to 'Cuse to catch a couple movies and eat some ribs and brisket. The result? A full tummy and 4 hours of great entertainment.
Going into the day we had two set goals, Dinosaur and the new movie Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. After that our plan called for either Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. After eating the times fell into place for League and Pirates.
The Game Is On
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is based on a graphic novel by Alan Moore and is set in the 19th Century. The idea is based on what the world might be like if the great literary characters of that time were real. The movie includes such characters as Tom Sawyer, Captain Nemo, Allan Quatermain, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde and Dorian Gray. Right from the start I was psyched for this film.
In true Summer Blockbuster style this movie had big bangs, car chases, hot broads and plenty of spent ammo. The Terminator would be jealous of the round count alone, I'm sure.
Sean Connery as Quatermain is charged with forming a League to combat an enemy known as The Fantom who is bent on world destruction. The League consisted of the characters I listed above as well as The Invisible Man and Mina Harker. Shane West was fun as a gun slinging Tom Sawyer while the special effects for the Invisible Man and Mr. Hyde were pretty sweet while Jason Flemyng pulled of a good Dr. Jekyll. It was also very cool to see Peta Wilson get a nice big screen role as the vampire Mina.
The movie had a quick pace overall with a few slower times thrown in to try and introduce the audience to the characters. I'm sure the average teen movie-goer has no idea who Dorian Gray is and may even be a little off on Quatermain and Nemo. I know that I'm not all that familiar with Gray myself.
Because of these introductions there are a few things that feel rushed and a couple places where the story goes wonky. But overall I think Norrington (who also directed Blade) did a good job directing, basically, a comic book. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, which is good, and there is enough humor and action for everyone.
My only major issue with the film, one that isn't limited to this movie by any means, is the choreography of fight sequences. Directors lately seem to have a love affair with tight shots, quick cuts and jittery cameras during fights...I don't like that at all. You lose things with this type of filming and your fight sequences, even though intense, leave you wanting. If you can't do a longer shot with a steady camera because of the actors involved, the sets or whatever, maybe they should tone it down.
Other than that one thing, I really enjoyed the movie. It was fun. It was exactly what a comic book movie should be. Connery is always great and, like I mentioned, I enjoyed West and Wilson in this film. As with any movie these days this one left itself open for a sequel. I wouldn't be upset to see one.
Because of the filming on the fight sequences and the rushed plot (in places) I'll give this movie 3 wheels of cheddar out of 4.
Argh Matey!
League is a good comic movie wrapped up as a Summer Blockbuster, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl is a swashbuckling family movie wrapped up as a Summer Blockbuster.
Starring Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, Orlando Bloom as Will Turner and Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa, this Disney movie also had it's share of explosions, chase scenes (boat...it IS a pirate movie), humor and gunplay.
As the film opens, Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Swann takes a gold coin from Will Turner after rescuing him from his sinking ship. Years later that coin summons Barbossa to her thinking that the coin, along with Swann's blood, will end a curse that keeps him and his men alive and sailing the seas of the Caribbean on their ship, The Black Pearl.
Sparrow, the former captain of the Black Pearl, who was overthrown by a Barbossa-led mutiny, is played incredibly well by Depp. The more I see this guy in movies the more I like him. He has the ability to fall into any role and become the character whether it's a pirate, a home-built freak (Edward Scissorhands) or a common man caught up in a conspiracy (Nick of Time). Orlando Bloom is turning into a good action hero following his turn as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings movies. Rush is always good and plays Barbossa with the proper sliminess. And Keira? Well, that's one hot broad.
Sword fights, cannon fire, boat chases, rum drinking, Keira in a wet shirt scene and some of the most incredible special effects I've seen in a long time mark this movie as just plain fun. The cursed pirates appear as human except in moonlight when their true form is seen. If you remember the movie The Mummy when Imhotep was first re-assembling himself then you'll get an idea of what these guys looked like. But the impressive part was late in the movie when some of the fight scenes had pirates moving from moonlight to shadow and back, transforming from human to skeleton with a seamlessness that was unbelievable. ILM has their shit down and this movie further proves it...Can't wait to see them on the next Star Wars movie!
Well acted, well produced (for a Bruckheimer movie) and visually stunning, the movie combines old school swashbuckling movies with humor and a modern tilt to make it a movie for the whole family. I easily give this flick 3.5 wheels out of 4. Go see it, take the kids, buy the DVD when it releases and enjoy.
7-11-2003
Net Enigma. New & Improved, deeper size.
Forgot to wish someone a happy birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday A...
7-7-2003
Net Enigma. Baffled.
Every once in a while I'll see something, hear or read something that reminds me again of what a soul-sucking hell Capital Telecommunications, Inc. is. For any of my friends that are still working there, I pity you.
It's Birthday time!
Okay, I have to admit that I should have posted this up last week. Last Thursday, July 3rd was J-Ass' birthday. I forgot, sorry about that.
Now, it's been a tradition the last few years to add a new honorific to his name. It's also been a tradition to go out and get loaded for his birthday. Like his 21st when he had his face stuck between a $5,000 boob job. Or even last year when we just got loaded and almost kicked out of Cobblestones for swapping jersey's (Soccer players will be familiar with this).
Well, this year I came across some information that was unknown before the war in Iraq. It seems that Ass Rod has ties to the former leadership of that country, therefore we had to add al-Tikriti to the end of his name as is custom in that country when naming members of the tribe. Henceforth, J-Ass will be formally known as:
Czar Lord Professor J-Ass Rod Mac the Ass Knife Donkey-Tron Plus Shoe Esquire the Third Sr. PHD.OBGYN al-Tikriti
As proof of this heritage, I give you this US document: J-Ass
Hollaa!
Qualler.com has kicked into high gear. The band is scoring gigs and gaining fans. Look over on the left under "Props" for a new permanent link to their web site. Check it out and if you're in the Philly area when they're playing stop in a give a listen. Tell them NetEnigma.com sent you, they'll buy you a beer (or I'll kick their ass!).
Quote of the week
Saw a bumper sticker the other day; "Ithaca, 10 square miles surrounded by reality."
How true.
I've been thinking
So, I had this odd thought the other day that's been bothering me. I talked it over with Finley and Ralph but they seemed less than interested in the subject.
The topic is Vegans. The American Heritage dictionary defines vegan this way:
vegan n. A vegetarian who eats plant products only, especially one who uses no products derived from animals, as fur or leather.
Now, here's my question; if a woman is a vegan will she suck dick, and if she does, will she swallow? Or, if she's a lesbian, will she eat pussy? I'm thinking no, but I don't really know any vegans to ask. Vegetarians, sure, but they aren't quite as hard-core so I don't think they'd be able to help.
Ralph and Finley didn't know either. Finley figured that they'd still drink milk but Ralph and I concluded that if you can't plant it, they won't eat it.
Finley's response? "I can plant my dick in her ass, then she can eat THAT"
If you know the answer, drop by the Forums and let me know.