News Archive -August 2003
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8-29-2003
Net Enigma.
Just a reminder for the "128 Hottest Chicks" game, the password to get in is 'zapped.' We didn't really need it, but after we put it in we were too lazy to take it out when we decided to make the game open to everyone.
The other thing I wanted to mention is that we've been getting a lot of email asking why so-and-so isn't in the game. Well, that's exactly why the game is called "The 128 Hottest Chicks we could think of...at the time." The 128 girls were the ones we came up with off the top of our heads after a quick afternoon of thinking.
And pretty much as soon as we had our list we were like, "oh, shit! We forgot Alyssa Milano," and "Damn! What about Tara Reid?" So, we understand that you guys have some chicks that you would have loved to see in the game because the truth is, there are some broads WE would like to have in the game.
The solution? "The 128 Hottest Chicks we didn't think of...the first time." Hahaha! Based on the overall success of this game, we are already planning to do another one. I'm leaning towards just after first of the year. Just about the time Football is over and everyone will be looking for something else to stare at for 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon.
But, fear not, between the end of this bracket and the next we'll fill up this space with "Hot Broads You've Never Heard Of" and Random Porn.
Small World
Today I got an email from a buddy of mine down in PA. I've know John Paul for a couple years but hadn't talked to him recently. I knew he was working on a music project but didn't know anything more than that. Well today he was browsing the website for Qualler and found the link here. Seems that John's band, Lifelong, will be playing with Qualler at a couple of upcoming shows in September, including the one I was planning on going to on September 27th.
So, anyway, I checked out Lifelong's website (www.lifelong-pa.com) and downloaded the MP3's they had out there and they're really good. Give them a listen if you get a minute.
Check out both Qualler.com and Lifelong-pa.com for their upcoming dates. That gig on 9/27 will be at Club HP and is an all ages show so if you're in the area stop in give them some support.
8-28-2003
Net Enigma. Fuckin' dark in here.
And the winner is....I don't know, it's not over yet! But I do have the results of the first round of the "128 Hottest Chicks" contest.
Click the Bracket Results link at the top, or here. The score that each chick rang up along with the match-ups for round 2 are listed.
There were a couple votes that were upsets in my book. The geek crowd got out for Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba but they couldn't help Kirsten Dunst overcome a 1 vote win for Trish Stratus.
Although there were a couple runaway wins like Elisha Cuthbert and Monica Bellucci racking up 30 votes each, the huge surprise was the total lack of love for the Aussie, Sarah Wynter. Garnering a measly 2 votes against Shannon Elizabeth she was the big loser in round 1.
A couple other surprises were Paris Hilton taking down the girl-next-door, Katie Holmes, 21 to 14, and Erica Hill winning 19 - 16 over Michonne Bourriague. Neither are a household name so maybe it came down to a better picture?
It's still entirely to early to begin to pick a winner, but if the showings in round 1 are any indication of where your eyes are, I'd say that there are one or two favorites. But, we'll see the picture more clear after round 2.
Ah, round 2. It's up! That's right, boys and girls, Ralph's lack of focus on his real job means he spent time on the bracket today and got all ready to go a day early. The link is up so go vote in round 2.
Oh, and as a special incentive, click the picture links on the right of the game before you finalize your votes. We changed to secondary pictures over there...you might be surprised at what we found...And keep an eye peeled for the final couple rounds where all bets are off on what we post there and in the game.
8-27-2003
Net Enigma. Carpe poon, man.
Alright! The votes are in and Ralph and I are doing the final count as you read this. Tonight I'll put up an update along with the updated bracket showing the winners in round 1 of "The 128 Hottest Chicks" contest.
There are some easy and obvious winners, some upsets and quite a few 1 vote winners.
Now, round 2 will probably have the same pictures that you saw in round 1, but stick around because as we move to round 3 we'll start swapping in the alternate pictures for a couple rounds. Then, when we get down to the elite 8 or so we'll start tossing in the nudes where we have them.
We had a great turn-out in voting for round 1 and I hope we have everyone repeat as well as having some new people step up. Looks like the voting for round 2 will start Friday morning at 12:01 am. If you voted in the first round I'll be hitting you all with an email as a reminder. But, tell your friends about it and get ready to vote!
8-26-2003
Net Enigma. I got trouble. One of my men got himself perished.
Okay, today is the final day to vote in round 1 of the "128 Hottest Chicks" contest. I'm cutting the votes off tonight at 11:59 p.m. so that we can tally the votes and get the bracket set for round two.
Round two will start Friday morning at 12:01 a.m. and will run till 11:59 p.m. on Thursday, September 4th. I want to run that second vote at least that long (it may slide a day or so) because of the Holiday next Monday.
As I write this we have 34 votes in round 1. I'm pretty happy with that turn-out. And it's not to late to get your vote in! And, even if you don't vote in round 1, that doesn't mean you can't jump in as we move forward.
I have the text bracket done, for now. I may make changes to it. You can get that by clicking here. I'll fill in the votes as we total up each round. I was contemplating putting them up as they rolled in, but I don't want to influence votes.
Hammer Dildo
For years Joe and J-Ass have been talking about this elusive power tool called the "hammer dildo." I finally ran across a photo. Click the thumbnail to see this heretofore unknown Hitachi product.
)
Quote of the Day:
"I'm really not that picky. All I ask is that you not be a heinously unbearable crackpot, then there's no worries." - Some broad on Match.com
8-22-2003
Net Enigma. And the signs along the highway all said "Caution, kids at play."
Now, it's no huge secret that I'm a fan of the Star Wars movies and seeing as I run this site, it's probably not a shock that I'm a geek. Now, have you heard about the Star Wars Kid? Cause this kid is the ultimate geek. And there isn't a thing wrong with that.
I can also understand his reasons for wanting his privacy. But what I'm tired of hearing is people like this Lynn Schofield Clark yapping about how "I'm hoping we're able to be a society where we do provide people's right to privacy and dignity."
Give me a break. I bet this broad stands next to you and me at the grocery store reading The Star headlines about who Affleck fucked this week or who Britney gave head to at the last MTV Video awards. Where the hell is their right to privacy? Wait, that's right, this is America where we have free speech.
This kid is Canadian. Clark, you're in America! We reserve the right to pick on whoever we want. I don't want to hear another word from you till it's about something important. Like, when is Ben.Lo breaking up, cause I'm sure you'll be first in line to read about that in the Enquirer.
128 Hottest Chicks
The contest is rolling along well. We got a flurry of votes on Wednesday but Thursday wasn't too shabby either. Keep rolling them in. Send your friends, your neighbors, your sister...Wait, just send us PICTURES of your sister. But send the rest over to this site to vote! You have till Tuesday, August 26th to vote!
Also, don't forget to check out the rules again because I put in an update about a possible gotcha with AOL. Better yet, ditch AOL and get a real ISP!
Boobs...
Like we haven't got boobs we gotta promote another site with them...Ernie's running his yearly "Best Tits on the List" contest over at EHOWA. The voting hasn't started yet but he has 6 entrants already with voting starting pretty soon. Spin by and tell'em NetEnigma sent you....and that you want him to vote in our contest!
And while you're over there, find out how I can get broads to send me random boob shots of themselves. I'll appreciate them as much as Ernie!
Objects are closer than they appear...
So, it's August 22nd and I realized that it's only 3 weeks till September 11th. In the last two years we've overthrown two governments, arrested dozens of al-Queda terrorists and killed many more. We've helped bring peace and freedom to Afghanistan and we're on the road to doing it again in Iraq.
Generally there is a lot of anger towards the US in the world now, even though it could be argued that it's overall, a safer place.
News broadcasts are loaded down with political posturing in Texas, governor recalls, power blackouts and Kobe's dick. It's "business as usual" in the US.
In three weeks the flags are going to fly at half staff, people will have flags on their cars and for a couple days everyone may have an extra smile on their face for their neighbor. Speeches will be made, firemen and police will get a nod and a smile, maybe a thumbs-up, and promises will be made about how 9/11 will never happen again.
Then on 9/12 things will go back to "normal."
I don't think that 9/11 should be looked at as an excuse for the battles we've fought for the last two years. I think it should be a reason for something better. It should stand for bravery and strength and be a rallying cry for the US to do something positive in the world. Let's not let 9/11 become another date on the calendar that will eventually lose it's meaning. Let's remember the strength of our citizens two years ago and make that day stand for positive change.
8-21-2003
Quick update for voters! I just added a new entry to the rules/FAQ for the "128 Hottest" contest. It appears that AOL mail might not work correctly with the way we have the TO: field filled in. Try changing the semicolon to a comma. Check the rules by clicking here or at the beginning of the game.
Net Enigma. Receipt expires on 10/9/03
Alright! One day and we've already had 10 votes cast in the first round of "128 Hottest Chicks." Not bad. Now, we just have to get word-of-mouth working for us and we could have a spectacular turn-out by Tuesday!
Huge thanks to Josh and his buddies stationed in Korea! Keep up the good work, fellas.
We even clocked in a voter from Arkansas! You might be a redneck if....Nah, I'm not even going to do it.
I have the text bracket about done and will be posting that this weekend in anticipation of announcing the winners next Wednesday morning. Vote! And tell your friends about it.
8-20-2003
Net Enigma. Poses shown may require additional support.
It's here! Today, Wednesday, is the official start of "The 128 Hottest Broads We could think of...at the time" contest. You can click the banner at the top to start the game.
I seriously suggest that you read the rules and the FAQ by clicking here. To log into the game use the password: zapped
You can also get to the rules from the RULES button at the beginning of the game. Voting will run till 11:59 p.m. on Tuesday, August 26th so get your votes in!
York, PA Recap
What a weekend. Friday morning at about 10:30 or so I headed out for the weekend in York. I estimated my arrival at 5:30 but I forgot to factor in the idiocy of PA drivers which put me 2 fucking hours behind schedule. I didn't roll into Cobblestones till about 7:15 or so.
But, that was the only bitch about Friday. We hung out at Cobblestones where Julie and The Godfather showed up along with Joey (who's 8 months pregnant), Seth, Bobbie and Mike-Dog. Nothing beats a few beers, some good food and CTI gossip. Well, actually, getting hit repeatedly in the head with a crowbar is more fun than CTI gossip...but the food and beer were good.
When Cobblestones got beat we headed out in search of more fun. And what could be more fun than a mosquito-infested bar located next to the sewage plant and downstream from Gladdfelters paper plant? Nothing that's what. Because not only was San Carlos hopping (heh, York residents will get it) , my girl Sabrina was singing! It was the first time that I'd heard her singing with just Frank laying down the acoustic guitar but they sounded really good. Sabrina had her crew out including Wendy, Chino and Cara. And it was good to see that Cara finally admitted her lesbian tendencies.
About midnight we said our goodbyes and rolled out for another stop...just because. And there is no better way to finish off an evening than a redneck bar. Wiener World. Yes, that's the name of it. Where the Long Island Ice Tea has 5 shots of liquor and the bar wench has 5 teeth to smile at you with when she serves it. Needless to say, we closed that bitch down at 2:00 with a last round and a quick dart game.
Final stop for the night, Round the Clock Diner. If you ever are hungry at 3:00 a.m. nothing beats a sausage omelet from this place. Add a large juice and some home fries. Yum, yum. We rolled out of there but not before watching Seth lose it on the steps, Leigh deposit one in the parking lot and Mike Dog about pass out in his coffee.
Back to the Dog house, Finley thought we were going to catch House of a 1000 Corpses. All we caught was a case of the Pass-outs. I'd have stayed that way till about noon but the on-call cell phone started blowing up at 9:00 a.m.. I invented new swear words.
Saturday was a shitty day right from the get-go. Not just because of the phone. The weather went sideways on us and prevented what was tentatively scheduled as a day in Baltimore. It's all good though. Lunch out at Perkins and a shopping trip later we had a game plan for the night. Dog's sister Nina would roll into town, we'd grill some food and drink our faces off.
Beer run. It's always great when you hit the state store and see a guy filling an empty Mountain Dew bottle with beer out of his trunk in the parking lot. Two cases later, liquor store. Three bottles later we were on the way back.
During the course of the night we grilled up a bunch of burgers, dogs and ate some corn. Blasted through the better part of a 30 pack of Keystone, a case of Honey Brown, bottle of Baja Rosa, Captain Morgan's Private Stock and part of a bottle of vodka.
Oh, and we played that Battle of the Sexes game. You know, where it's men against women and you have to answer questions that would usually be more familiar to the opposite sex. Well, in the first game I dazzled them with my knowledge of "notions" and "decoupage." Don't worry, if you read this site on a regular basis I wouldn't expect you to know what they are. I think the girls took the second game, but, by then, it didn't matter because all my knowledge was tied up figuring out what hops, water and some precisely distilled sugar cane was doing to my liver.
Sunday morning came way too early. We finally sat through 1000 Corpses then it was road time. PA drivers suck balls. Add a hang over and something like 5 hours on the road and you have one pissed off New Yorker. But, it was worth it for the fun that I had over the weekend. It's now Wednesday (and this is overdue by 3 days) and I still feel like crap. But, fuckit. When we doing it again?
Quote of the Day:
"Get the dope on your stoolie... I mean kid. Something really
good like bad grades. Give
him a free pass and hold it over his head like an ugly aunt with
mistletoe." - iLYa
8-15-2003
Net Enigma. Ain't that about a bitch?
So, lights out at 4:00 on Thursday and they didn't come back on till 2:30am today. And what's the word so far? Damn Canadian's may have been the cause. Figures.
Can't wait to see how this one turns out. But, making the best of a bad situation, our apartment complex got together and grilled some burgers and dogs and drank much beer. Not to bad a way to spend a Thursday evening.
8-12-2003
Net Enigma. Erotic films use a feather, porn films use the whole chicken.
Wednesday. Well, next Wednesday, August 20th to be exact. That is the day for the voting to begin in this little contest that we have nicknamed "The 128 Hottest Chicks we could think of...at the time."
It's a long name, but it's funny, so laugh. The banner at the top will be your link to the brackets when it goes active. I'll have a full set of rules for you by the time we go live. The first 3 rounds will move a little slow though as we're breaking those rounds into 4 blocks. The final rounds will be one at a time. So, it's going to take a couple weeks from beginning to end.
I saw a preview of the working system yesterday and I have to say, it looks great. Couple polishing touches left and that's it. So get ready to see some pictures of hot broads and have fun picking who you think is the hottest!
Oh, and before I forget. I started a topic in the forums to be the official "The 128 Hottest Chicks" thread. Head over and check it out. And feel free to post anything you want in there. It's getting kind of boring trading posts with just J-Ass and The Peachstapler.
Belly up!
Tomorrow is the day. York, PA. Cobblestones, 5:30pm. If you're in town, be at the bar. I'll be the guy drinking Honey Brown and harassing the the bartenders to mix rounds of Dirty Girlscout.
Saturday hasn't been worked out yet but it's looking like a trip into Baltimore for some shenanigans at Inner Harbor and Fell's Point.
Since I'll be in York, no updates for the weekend. So, to make up for it, random porn:
8-12-2003
Net Enigma. Made in China.
A week ago a little film called Gigli starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez opened wide to some terrible reviews. I did not go see this movie for two reasons. The first, Ben.Lo has no draw for me and the second, NOBODY had anything good to say about it.
That was proven accurate when it opened to a measly $3.8 million and quickly faded.
Martin Grove, in his review of the movie:
"On the other hand, "Gigli" stars Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez could be in danger of a movie star recall election. In its second weekend, "Gigli" placed 18th with $640,000 ($289 per theater), down a whopping 83 percent. With a cumulative take of $5.6 million, the $54 million "Gigli" will be lucky to reach $7 million. "
And the train wreck that is the Ben.Lo relationship becomes apparent to all those "fans" they have out there. Man, $640,000? You could strip Lopez naked, film a 20 minute indie flick of her rubbing one out with a dildo (with P Diddy music for background), open it in 20 theaters between NYC and LA and make that much. And it wouldn't cost $54 million to make like Gigli did.
The only problem I have with the complete and utter failure of this movie is that February 2004 will see the release of Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl (also starring Ben.Lo). A movie that by all rights should be a funny, well thought out movie. But after this turd, can even Smith's genius pull in his die hard fans? Or will the shadow of this terrible piece of film weigh heavy on the public and cause his film to die on the vine?
The fact that Affleck was the one that talked Smith into casting Lopez in his movie just makes it worse. Friends since Mallrats hit the scene, will Smith continue to cast Affleck if Jersey Girl bombs?
One thing that I will put my money on, Ben.Lo will be Has.Ben by the end of the year. And Kevin is now the butch.
8-9-2003
Net Enigma. Product and colors may vary.
The pictures are downloaded, cropped and sized. Soon as Ralph has the last details on the brackets worked out (and I upload these pictures to him) we should be cooking on the hot broad showdown.
Check the "Props" link section on the menu at left. I removed some non-working links, added a banner for "Ernies House of Whoopass" (cause his site is cool as hell) as well as links for IMDB and IGN. Both great sites for information.
8-6-2003
Net Enigma. "I don't believe a woman's a lesbian till she personally rejects me." "You must know a lot of lesbians."
HOLLA at a brother! Net Enigma is invading York, PA from Friday August 15th till Sunday the 17th. It all kicks off at 5:30pm on the 15th at Cobblestones on George St. Bring yourself, bring your drinking money and most of all, bring your sister if she's hot (Julie, you can bring both your sisters!).
It's even hotter in herre!
Ralph's putting the final touches on the voting brackets, we have most of the pictures downloaded and it's getting close to kick-off time for this hot broad showdown.
I've emailed a few potential voters but I've only got one affirmative. If you got my email and want to be in on the vote, get at me!
Missed out...
I'm headed out to work yesterday morning and there's a broad sitting in her car out in front of my building. Not bad looking. She's going through some papers or whatnot.
So I jump in the hoopty and look over as she gets out and opens the back door of her car. She's wearing a tight fitting black mini-dress with white stockings. Nice body, great legs. So she's leaning over looking at some papers in the back of her car as I back out. I look over and this short skirt is not only riding up her ass, it has a slit in the back of it.
Know what she had on besides white stockings? Not a damn thing! So I pull out the digital, snap a shot and head out before she catches me. All day I'm looking at the preview on the view finder and I think it's going to look good when I get it dl'ed. Well, it doesn't. You can't see a damn thing! I was pissed! All you can see is the back of this broad and that she's wearing a dress...and that's it.
Shameful. The Olympus has failed me for the first time. Better not happen again!
It had to be asked...
If you took the leg and armpit hair off all the hippie broads in Ithaca could you weave a blanket for every homeless person in Syracuse?