News Archive - August 2005

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8-18-2005

Is the lecture over? I gotta pee.

The BTK killer gets 10 life sentences, Israel evacuates the largest settlement in Gaza, 4 US soldiers die in Iraq and Sienna Miller and Jude Law are "seen" together. Which of these doesn't belong?

But I shouldn't get down on CNN.com, afterall they're one of the news sites that ignored Africa in favor of daily Michael Jackson coverage.

Tuition

You know, this is fucking bullshit. This guy gets sent overseas to Iraq for 2 tours with the Marines and even though the state recognizes him as a Texas resident the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board doesn't.

Where's W's "no child left behind" program now.

I'm all for being able to earn tuition to college by volunteering for the military.  My cousin did it and I know others that have as well.  And in peace time, you should earn that money and when your hitch is up, go to college.  But if you do a tour overseas during a war, resident or not, you should automatically get the discount to college.  Matter of fact, you do a tour at war time you shouldn't have to pay for anything except beer!

Austin CC should make this right and give Carl Basham a free ride.  And if they won't, I hope a better school steps up.

Shitty

Remember when the Supreme Court ruled that government could legally seize property in order to sell it to corporations that would develop it and make money?  Well how's this for a fucked up twist?

The original case that went to the Court is Kelo v New London.  Now that it is over, the seven families that fought the seizure have to move out of their houses but before they do, New London wants to collect rent for the past 5 years. 

Yep.  Since the seizure started in 2000 they figure that, now that they've won, the people living there have been living on city property all this time and they should have to pay.  In one case, Matt Dery, they want to fuck him for $6,100 a month or about $300K. 

And they also only want to pay market price for the land...at 2000 property values.  They're going to get the property at about 1/3 of the current market price and then bill him for $300K.

Matt, I have a new math equation for you:

In touch with their anger

South Africa has the most aggressive and angry drivers in the world, or at least in the 10 countries surveyed. 

I guess they didn't poll Pennsylvania.

Heilig faecaliën

The Dutch government fear that the satellite views on the Google Earth map site may help aid terrorists in picking out targets. 

I wouldn't worry too much.  I couldn't tell you where all the nuclear reactors are in the US but I bet al Queda can...and they didn't need Google to do it.  The fact is there isn't anything those maps can tell a terrorist that they couldn't find out just by driving by their intended target.

Besides, we have the technology to read washing instructions off your shirt tag from space.  The Google Earth pictures, from about 10,000 feet, aren't going to get the job done

Besides, if these maps are so good why doesn't the Dutch government just put them to good use and, oh, say, find Natalie?

8-17-2005

Parental discretion advised.

Well, it looks like we're going to have to wait at least a month before Net Enigma Triple X is launched.

How will you ever spend that time?

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Say What?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Technical savvy

Proving that Steve Jobs has brainwashed America, a stampede of 5,000 people showed up yesterday to buy 1,000 4-year-old iBooks.

I guess nobody in that crowd realized that not only are iBooks that old pretty much useless in 2005 but that they probably could have stayed home and gotten a better deal on eBay.

In other Apple news yesterday it was discovered that Apple may have to pay licensing fees to Microsoft for the iPod.  Just when you thought you'd found a piece of technology you could buy without lining the pockets of that evil genius in Redmond.

8-16-2005

You're damn right it did...I mean, really?

Whether all the citizens want to admit it or not, Iraq is now a Democracy.  Know how I can tell?  They're already missing important deadlines and nobody was shot.

And seriously, if NY can't pass a budget on time for the last 20 years did we expect a brand new country to do something as important as write a constitution in less than a year?  Please. 

I'd rather see Iraq take another 6 months and get it right the first time than have to watch them battle over some piece of shitty spelling two years from now and erupt into a civil war or something.

I love Texas

I really do.  I don't like W but I love that state.  I mean, where else in the US would it be acceptable for a guy to shoot off a gun to show his displeasure with demonstrators in his neighborhood?

Larry Mattlage, President Bush's neighbor in Crawford, is tired of the demonstrators that have been hovering around the ranch this month and yesterday he was out getting ready for "dove" season by shooting off a shotgun.  Guess that startled everyone a little.

I particularly like this quote:

"If the neighbor is tired of having us here, he should talk to his other neighbor, George Bush, and ask George Bush to come out and meet with me, and then we'll leave," said Cindy Sheehan.

No. If he's tired of you on his property, blocking the road, he should tell you to get the fuck out.

I understand what this lady wants, but if I had people on my property because they were demonstrating against my neighbor I'd be pissed too. I think Mr. Mattlage should move onto Sheehan's front lawn for a couple weeks, see how she likes it.

8-15-2005

There's an old saying...don't change things...ever.

The music industry has stumbled upon a very upsetting trend; people are burning CDs instead of buying them or paying for their downloads.

Word they'll be going after mix tapes due Tuesday.

8-12-2005

Sometimes you're funny and then there's now.

Did you like "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown?  Was it a page turner for you?  How about if they made a movie called The Da Vinci Code that started with a disclaimer that nothing you were about to see was based on fact, and then proceeded to take the entire plot from the novel and throw it out the window? 

Would you like it then?  Artistic freedom surrenders.

8-11-2005

Drunks are so cute.

Because the prosecutor was unable to prove that Miller Genuine Draft is actually beer, a Kutztown man may go free from a "furnishing liquor to minors" charge.

The Beer god rests his case.

Fiscal responsibility

Detroit is laying off firefighters and police but somewhere they found $1 million in their budget to build a pen for some European fallow deer.

Now, I don't know about you, but here in NY we have plenty of deer that you can see every day if you drive around enough.  I don't see a need to pen up all those tender vittles when the city could be serving up one helluva barbeque.

Biting the hand that feeds

Blockbuster has lost £98 million in the first half of the year in the UK and who do they blame?  Hollywood, of course, for the stream of crap that they've released this year.

I guess maybe they shouldn't pin their income to such a shaky industry?  Wankers.

8-10-2005

What the motherfuckinghell?

According to Hugo Chavez the United States is the "most savage, cruel and murderous empire that has existed in the history of the world"

Reeeeallly?  We must be on break from all the ethnic cleansing because I haven't seen a dead body in the streets in, God, must be years.

And I guess I forgot about that time we gas bombed the Kurds and the time we swept across the European continent and conquered the world, enslaving millions. Oh, oh, and I almost forgot about when we sent all those Jews to the ovens and touched off that tsunami in Asia.

Here's an idea, Hugo.  Shut your mouth and pick me some coffee, you fucker.

Proof video games are bad

Hey, Senator Clinton, here's proof that video games are evil.  No comment from J-Ass who's sure to scoff at this amateur with a weak constitution for video game playing.

Who ya gonna call?

When you come home to find a 28-year-old man having sex with your 16-year-old daughter what do you do?  I guess, normally, you'd call the cops. 

I wonder if dad had to actually "call," or did he just tap the cop on the shoulder to get his attention?

8-9-2005

I've got heathens aplenty right here.

Want to play a fun and very addicting game?  How about Battle for Gondor.  It's now Tuesday.  When you come up for air and it's Thursday, don't say I didn't warn you.

Doom and gloom

For the multiplex theater, that is.  I can tell you where the beginning of the end was; $9 tickets. It's shitty for a theater to charge that much for tight seats, blown speakers and mediocre screen size. I'd be happy to pay $10 a film for stadium seating, THX sound and a huge screen and, as a matter of fact, I paid a little more than that to go see the latest Star Wars movie in digital with huge seats and incredible sound. 

And not only that, but I'd much rather go to a 1 screen theater with 500 or 1000 people than a 16 screen multiplex.  There's something to be said for a classy theater with an old-school vibe to it.

When given the choice between a shitty theater and DVD, I'll usually take DVD.  Putting the film out on DVD about 6 months after it's theatrical debut for $15 is an easy choice to make.  If I watch that movie twice, or lend it to someone, I more than get my money out of it.  Hell, I could then stick it on eBay for $10 shipped and make half my money back!

But going to the theater to see a film can still be an event.  I mean, some films NEED to be seen on a huge screen with booming sound.  I wouldn't give up the experience of seeing movies like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Spider-Man or even a popcorn movie like Stealth.  Even a widescreen TV can't give you the same sense of awe that you get from watching Yoda kick ass at 2 stories tall...or riding shotgun in the cockpit with Jamie Foxx.

I'm sure the theater operators don't want to think about it, the cable companies may not want to think about it and a lot of people will have to be dragged, kicking and screaming to it, but I see a future where theaters go back to that 1 screen format.  And the reason for that is because in 5 to 10 years you'll be able to sit at home and order any TV show, movie or video game on your TV whenever you want. 

Get home from work and want to play Madden NFL?  Dial it up and play.  Watch some "Friends" during dinner?  Order up your favorite episode.  Relax with a book while listening to the new album from 50 Cent?  Done.  And to finish off the night, queue up the newest Spielberg flick...you know, the one that was released directly to your pay-per-view channel the same day it hit theaters.

Another reason I think we're headed in this direction is because of digital filmmaking.  George Lucas, James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez, all on board.  Plus plenty of other movie makers see the future and that future is digital.  Bigger movies, faster, cheaper - it's just a couple years away with digital.  And when the top directors are filming that way theaters will have to move to digital projection.  It's not cheap but after the masses get a taste they won't want to watch a movie on film again.  It'll be a lot easier to put 1 projector on 1 screen with 1000 seats than on 16 screens with 200 seats. 

That's when going to the theater will be a treat again.  DVD and your on demand movies and TV will be great, but watching a new FX or action movie in digital on a huge screen will still have a draw. 

Speaking of...

Hot movies.  Next week is the release of Sin City on DVD.  I should take the day off so I can watch it. 

8-5-2005

Remember, this is a family show.

This just in

Canada does something right.  Their new governor general is a bona fide hottie!  Now see, I'd even vote for a hot chick like that...but all we get here in NY is Hillary Clinton. 

Bitch.

Woody

I found out today that my boy Ken is in town this weekend.  That means an afternoon of beer and food.  I can taste the Dinosaur already!