News Archive - December 2003
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12-29-2003
Net Enigma. For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed.
Michael Jackson should be taken out and shot. Dead. And then we wouldn't have to see him, listen to him, or put up with his child molesting ways.
I didn't see the "60 Minutes" interview with him last night, but from this article, all I have to say is, shut the fuck up!
They showed pictures of him walking into the police station with his hands cuffed and him coming out flashing the peace sign. Fucker didn't look in too much pain but now he can't sleep cause he has a dislocated shoulder? Fuck off.
I don't want to hear anything else about this child raping freak. Take it off the damn news and give me news that more important...like the verdict from his trial when they send him away for 20.
More stupidity
A mother is suing a playground because her 2 year old cut his head on a railing and since he's a "model" he's losing wages. How about this for a solution, maybe his mom SHOULD GET A FUCKING JOB!!!
I hope the judge laughs in her face and dismisses all charges. Jesus Fuck. If I sued for every scar I ever had, every time I cut myself or hurt myself playing a sport or just playing, I'd have more fucking cash than Bill Gates.
Jesus Christ!!!!
So much for the short-lived Christmas Spirit this year.
12-24-2003
Net Enigma. Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
It's been a couple days since I've seen Return of the King and I've had plenty of time to digest the movie. I looked back through the novels to refresh my memory of some spots and look back to Fellowship and Two Towers.
And as I think about the film, I have a better appreciation for it as the week has passed. I've also come to some conclusions that others have mentioned in their reviews of the movie, and trilogy; This is the best movie of the year.
Granted, there were some other awesome flicks this past summer, Pirates of the Caribbean anyone? But Return of the King blows them all away. You can have your art house flicks like House of Sand and Fog and Cold Mountain, but opening a movie world wide with as much success as King can only be rewarded in one way.
Oscar.
I guarantee that Academy members are looking at this film and saying to themselves "Billion dollars my ass, my film was just as good." And then they vote for their buddy.
When the awards are handed out in February, however, only one thing will make me happy. And that is Return of the King winning movie of the year, Peter Jackson director of the year, King should have an award in cinematography, score and, the most important award in my eyes; best supporting actor in a drama for Sean Astin.
Anything less and all 5,700 members of the Academy can lick my balls.
Don't hate the player
It's the year 2003. For 7 more days, anyway, but people STILL don't get this thing called the 'Internet.' Have you ever used on-line mapping programs to get where you are going? Well, apparently, some people are afraid that this 'new' technology is going to cause stalkers to go wild.
And this broad in NYC? She's just an idiot. She should be banned from all future use of the Internet. If someone wants to find you, all the information they need is out there in the phone books, by dialing 411 or by doing exactly 2 seconds of real actual work. And guess what, we've had maps since Columbus stumbled into Bermuda. That lousy, stalking, Spanish bastard!
If someone is desperate enough to stalk someone all they have to do is follow them home one time. That's just as easy as looking it up on the Internet.
The only good thing that comes of that article, and that broads stupidity? She will have that much harder of a time getting a date now...and maybe that means she won't reproduce, thus strengthening the gene pool.
Counting down
There are just two days left till Christmas (counting today) and as an early present I'm posting up the final two bows on NetEnigma's Advent Calendar of Porn 2003. Promise not to peek at the 25th till Thursday though!
And let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Whatever-holiday-you-celebrate!
I'll be taking a break till Monday as I'm out of town with limited net access all weekend. Feel free to MapQuest your way over to my apartment and help yourself to the fridge.
12-18-2003
I love the Star Wars movies. The Indiana Jones trilogy was solid and also a favorite. The Lord of the Rings, however, may just possibly be the greatest trilogy of all time. Spoilers may lie ahead, you've been warned.
If I spent the day leafing through my Thesaurus I don't think I could come up with enough adjectives or superlatives to describe how awesome I think this movie, and trilogy, is. The final chapter continues to closely follow the novels that Tolkien wrote over 50 years ago and Peter Jackson's direction is flawless. The special effects, in a couple areas, were a little off but no expense was spared on Gollum, one of the best acted parts in the entire trilogy. Big battles, the Nazgul, Minas Tirith, all brilliantly done and all looked absolutely gorgeous.
Once again, Jackson had to pick and choose some pieces of the novels to leave out or adapt to tell the story on the big screen. And again, I think the compromises were worth it. Some comments had been made in the lead-up to the film about cutting Christopher Lee from the film, however, the tweaking of the beginning and ending of the film was such that Saruman's part was not missed in the overall story. The scouring of the Shire, one of the final chapters of the novel, is left completely out. And I'm happy for that. That section of the book isn't needed in this film to tie up the end and I don't feel cheated that we didn't see it.
Although I enjoyed the whole film, three parts stick out as high points.
As Gollum leads Frodo deeper into Mordor he battles Smeagol over control of the ring, finally winning out. The acting and writing was incredible, as it was in The Two Towers, as he wrestles with his plan to do away with Sam and regain the ring.
The second was the direction behind Faramir's attack on Osgiliath at the request of Denethor. While Pippin sings a haunting song, Faramir attacks the enemy and his father, Denethor, in his madness, eats his dinner. The entire scene is very well done.
The third scene is the ending at the Grey Havens. Not a dry eye in the theater, on screen or off.
When the directors cut of this film comes out next year on DVD, and you are able to watch all 3 films together, I think that they will seamlessly tell the story that Tolkien intended. Now, can we talk Jackson into making "The Hobbit?"
12-17-2003
Net Enigma. "The battle of Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle Earth is about to begin."
It's December 17th and that means it's opening day for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. I know where I'll be as you're probably reading this! Review later tonight.
12-14-2003
Can I get a hell YEAH!
12-13-2003
Net Enigma. Quote of the Day: "Also I would like a puppy for Christmas. Preferably breathing but I'll take what I can get. " - J-Ass in the forums
I'm watching the Binghamton local news last night at 11 and they were doing a piece on the smoking ban in bars throughout NY. Now, whenever they do a piece on a bar I try to watch because I never know if one of my old drinking buddies might show up in the background. Last night, sure enough, they pan the bar of Deacon's Bench and who do a spy but Tim Gavigan.
Now Tim is an old school bar hopper so it didn't surprise me in the least to see him. Good to know that some things never change.
Flu
So, have you had the flu yet? I haven't and I really don't think I'm going to get it. Now, it seems that Finley and Leigh Anne both had it last week but I really don't think it's that big a deal. It's also kind of funny that this year the lines are longer for flu shots than they are for the hot Christmas toy.
It's even funnier when you realize that the vaccine being given out this year isn't even for the strain of the flu that's going around. I'll just drink my orange juice, get plenty of sleep and laugh when everyone else gets sick.
Screw OPEC
The oil producing nations now want the rest of the world to continue to pay them even if other forms of power, besides oil, are found and the world moves to them.
What a load of horse shit! These fuckers have a stranglehold on oil now and are raping the rest of the world for all their cash to keep cars moving. What are they doing with that cash, stashing it for later? Probably not, they're probably using it to buy everyone in their countries gold plated toilets or something.
Get over it. When the world finally smartens up and moves to things like battery power, methanol and other types of power, I hope the Mid East chokes on their oil reserves. They deserve extra payments about as much as the Taliban deserves another country to run.
12-8-2003
Net Enigma. Fuck that!
"Average Joe" wrapped up last night and even though I've been in denial, even though I thought that maybe this time would be different, the GQ motherfucker won.
I can't even...fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! Goddamn it. Whatever.
And to make matters even worse, they are running a second "Average Joe" starting in January. Some of the guys they showed in the preview were just...foul. Even I can't believe the depths that network TV (possibly) has sunk to.
24
It's season three for the FOX series "24" and I haven't even made mention of it yet. Well, that's because I've been taping the season so far and hadn't actually watched any of it. Till this past weekend, that is.
We're already a good 5 or more weeks into the show now and it's just as good as the first two seasons. Maybe not quite as addictive as last year, but it's early yet. Several good improvements over last season including the new cleavage on Reiko Aylesworth's Michelle Dessler, the fact that Kim Bauer (played by Elisha Cuthburt the winner of the "128 Hottest Contest") is not the sources of foolish drama and Jack is a dope fiend.
Just like his good friend Charlie Sheen...I mean, what?
Anyway, LA is once again under a terrorist threat only this time it's for the release of a drug dealer. Yadda, yadda, yadda, Jack is out to save the day again by doing things his own way. The only really bad thing I have to say about it is that I can't believe the CTU team is that damn easy to infiltrate. If that's any indication of the real US Governments Homeland Security, we have problems.
12-4-2003
Net Enigma. Who has the right of way at a 4 way stop? I live in the Bronx, it's the guy with the gun!
In my excitement over To Live and Die in L.A. yesterday I totally forgot to remind everyone to go out and buy Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. It also dropped on Tuesday and is a cool $14.99 at Target this week. Go grab it up.
Not so simple
"The Simple Life," the new reality show with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie debuted Tuesday night. Although I forgot to watch it, I did see the second episode last night. I laughed and laughed. Then I became thoroughly disgusted at these two broads when they couldn't handle a simple job like filling bottles of milk.
The owner of the farm that they were working on was much more patient than I would have been. The first time I checked on them and found that they were just pouring milk all over the ground, I'd have kicked their ass...camera rolling or not.
More reality
Next Monday night the show "Average Joe" wraps up with a 2 hour special. The hottie is down to two guys after this past Monday night. The leading geek, Zach, got aced when some hidden camera footage finally allowed the chick to see that he really was kind of a dick when she wasn't around.
Now, I'm not passing judgment on the guy, because, hey, the smack he was talking sounded a lot like me and the Crew sitting around on a Margarita Wednesday. But, when you're trying to get into a broads pants, you gotta tune it down.
Anyway, Adam, the dark horse in this race is still in. The hottie even cut Calvin Klein because she hadn't quite clicked with him. Now, GQ, a.k.a. Jason, is looking like the favorite, but I don't know. Adam's a cool dude from NYC so I gotta root for an East Coast brother.
12-3-2003
Net Enigma. Can I get "Hell Yeah?"
HELL YEAH! To Live and Die in L.A. has FINALLY debuted on DVD! Go buy it, beotch!
It's a helluva movie from 1985 and stars William Peterson of the CBS show "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" along with Willem Dafoe and John Pankow. The movie, as far as I know, has been out of print for a very long time. It may have been out there on VHS somewhere but I couldn't tell you the last time I saw it anywhere. Step out and pick it up.
Countdown
It's just 14 days and counting till The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King hits theaters. I have my day of vacation all scheduled and my ass has a date with a seat at the Hoyts theater in Binghamton. Followed by a tall, ice cold beverage and maybe some chicken wings. Maybe I'll talk Todd into Hooters...Big swords followed by big boobs, could it get any better?
12-2-2003
Net Enigma. Thought I forgot didn't you?
Thought I forgot the 2003 NetEnigma Advent calendar didn't you? Well, I didn't. I just was a day behind because of the holiday weekend being later in the month of November than usual. So, it took me a day to get the last touches on stuff.
Click the link above and enjoy 2 days of the 2003 calendar.